Naruto for Dummies
by diego12191
Summary: This is what would happen if me and some of my friends got sucked into the world of Naruto! Rated T for some foul language.
1. Chapter 1

**Naruto for Dummies**

_This is pretty much about me and my friends being sucked into Naruto… It's pretty bad but whatever. Lol! Should be kind of different…_

Chapter 1

"Dee!!! You have to come over to my place some time so we can watch NARUTO!!!" Kate exclaimed, bursting through the band room door.

I glanced up at her from my seat on the floor, there are usually not enough seats to go around, especially if you're in percussion… "Ok. When?"

"I don't know," Kate considered. She glanced over at Valerie, "Hey Valerie! Why don't you come over too!? We could have a Naruto party!!!"

Valerie considered, "That sounds pretty cool. How about Friday night? That way we could make it a sleepover."

Kate beamed, "Sure! I'll just ask my parents when I get home. Do you think we should invite anybody else???"

"Hmm," Dee chimed in, "how about Chelsea?"

Kate nodded, "Chelsea's cool. Anyone else?"

"Nah, fours probably good," Valerie concluded, "so let us know what you're parents say…"

"I will," Kate promised, while heading off to get her French horn.

"God," Schnulo stated glancing over at Dee, "you guys are such nerds…"

Dee stuck her tongue out, "You're just jealous!"

"Ha ha! Funny joke."

**The Following Day…**

Dee, Kate, Valerie, and Chelsea flung themselves into the different various seats in Kate's basement, positioning themselves around Kate's computer. A storm was brewing outside, but this was Ohio so nobody thought much about it…

"Hey guys," Chelsea piped up, "I don't think I'm as far into the anime as the rest of you, I've only been watching it on Cartoon Network…"

Kate thought this over for a second… "Hmm… I guess we could start there… Any objections?"

"Nope," Valerie and Dee said in unison.

"Ok, then here goes…"

They were near the end of episode 87 when it happened. A bolt of lightning struck the house. Everything happened so fast it was hard to tell what was going on… There was a bright light that seemed to consume everything, blinding the four girls for the moment. Everything was hot and full of energy, as if the lightning was in the room. All the background noise from Kate's home seemed to get softer and softer until it simply vanished, while the sound from Naruto grew louder and louder until it was the only thing they could hear. Then the whiteness faded, and to the girls shock, and to the shock of Naruto, Jiraiya, Itachi, and Kisame (Sasuke was unconscience) they were standing in the middle of the Naruto show!!!

---

_Well, that's it for now… I'll be writing more soon and I promise it will actually get more interesting. Hope you enjoyed! _


	2. Chapter 2

**Naruto For Dummies**

Chapter 2

"What the hell!" Naruto declared, pointing in shock at the four girls that had just materialized in front of him, "Where did you guys come from!?"

"Oh… my… GOD!" Dee shreiked, "We're in the Naruto anime!!!"

"Anime?" Itachi asked in confusion, "Who are you?"

"This can't be happening!" Valerie exclaimed.

"Woah," Kate stated, "is that really Itachi!?"

Kisame blinked several times, then smirked, "Whoever they are, they're in the way, and they seem to have heard of us, too. I say we kill them." Kisame made a swing towards the girl closest to him; Chelsea.

"EEEEEKKK!" Wham! Kisame's blow was stopped by a large orange frog.

"What are you doing just standing around!?" Jiraiya yelled, "Run for it!"

Valerie didn't waste a second, "Come on, you heard him!" she shouted, "Run!"

The girls quickly raced behind the safety of Jiraiya. Kisame looked like he might want to pursue them but Itachi stopped him, "Come on, there's no point. It would be bothersome to have to fight Jiraiya at any rate, let's just go." Kisame sighed, sheathing his sword, and the two turned around and started making their exit.

"Hey, wait," Naruto called after them, "where the hell do-"

"Enough, Naruto," Jiraiya commanded, "let them go." He glanced at Sasuke, then over at the four new girls, "There's other things we need to take care of."

**Later, After the Girls Explained their Story to Jiraiya and Naruto, and Sasuke had Been Taken Care of…**

"That's so COOL!!!!!" Naruto yelled, jumping up and down, "There's a whole show all about me!!!"

Jiraiya stood there thinking, "You're stories pretty weird, but you don't seem to have much chakra so you can't be enemy ninjas. I guess I'll just have to accept it. Anyhow, Naruto and I are going to try and find Tsunade. You can-"

"Hyaa!!!" Might Guy screamed, kicking Jiraiya in the head, "Take that you- Oh… Shit…"

**Later, After Guy Apologized 20 Million Times and Jiraiya and Naruto Explained to Guy About What Happened and Who the Girls Were…**

Jiraiya sighed, rubbing his head, "Why don't you take these four and Sasuke back to the village. Naruto and I will continue on to find Tsunade."

"Sounds good," Guy confirmed, "Why don't two of you grab Sasuke and then we'll head out."

The girls nodded and Kate and Valerie ran over and hoisted up Sasuke together. It still all seemed surreal to them. The very idea of actually being inside of the Naruto anime, it just wasn't possible! Nothing made sense, and the more they thought about it the more confusing it became. However, there was nothing they could do. They didn't know how they'd got here, and they didn't know how they were going to get back, but while they were stuck here they'd might as well just deal with it the best they could.

---

_Sorry it's short, I promise I'll write more soon. I'm just kind of overwhelmed with school and my parents right now, but you should expect a new chapter in the next day or two. Please review and I hope you liked it! ___


	3. Chapter 3

**Naruto For Dummies**

Chapter 3

_Kate wrote this one…_

**At the local bar…**

Jiraiya and Naruto stared at the girls for quite some time. Neither of them could figure out what to think. The girls were obviously not dangerous, but they still didn't feel right about the situation.

Well, at least Jiraiya didn't.

"So… do you like me better than Sasuke?" Naruto asked Valerie for the twenty-third time, "I am totally stronger right?"

Valerie looked at him for quite some time, not sure how to answer. Truth be told, she had answered him differently every time, and she was running out of ideas, quickly.

She turned to look at Kate, then back at Naruto, "Look, here is the truth… you bug me."

Naruto smiled, as if waiting for her to continue… or maybe he didn't understand.

Chelsea stood up, "I am going to go get some ramen" she said simply. This caused Naruto too get up immediately and follow.

"The only thing that I find suspicious about you four," Jiraiya said after a considerable awkward silence, "is that it seems that two of you have already started developing chakra."

"This is extremely rare, typically ninjas are born with chakra, it doesn't develop." He continued, "and the only reason that I can fathom for you to do so is because you did not originate from here, and are now adapting."

Dee, Kate, and Valerie stared for a second, somewhat dumbfounded.

"So… which of us is developing this chakra?" Kate asked cautiously.

"You are," Jiraiya answered without hesitating, "and you as well," he mentioned as he pointed towards Valerie.

I can sense that you, pointing to Dee, will become very similar to Rock Lee. I can see that you have the potential of mastering Tai-Jutsu and you have a steady determination."

"But," he added as he went on, "I don't see any potential in the friend of yours, you might want to keep a close eye on her."

The three nodded.

**Meanwhile…**

"This ramen is delicious!" Chelsea exclaimed looking at Naruto in awe.

"Of course," said Naruto, who had been searching through his pockets for some spare change, "by the way… would you mind paying for this?"

Chelsea was obviously annoyed at this question, she only had just enough to cover both meals (having earlier picked up some money from Jiraiya). But, because she was too nice to say no, she agreed.

And anyway, she did think that the orange-jumpsuit wearing ball of energy was a fun guy.

**Itachi's lair…**

Itachi was annoyed to say the least.

How did these people enter into the middle of his battle? They were ruining his plans.

As he pondered he could feel them getting steadily stronger, Why was this?

Itachi sighed, he could sense that these individuals would me more of a pest to him than his annoying younger brother.


	4. Chapter 4

**Naruto For Dummies**

Chapter 4

"SASUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ino and Sakura shrieked in unison.

"OMG!!!" Ino yelled, "Is he gonna be ok!?"

Sakura half-strangled Naruto, "Why didn't you tell me earlier! What the hell have you been doing!!!"

"Uh… Sorry," Naruto coughed, "I met this cool girl and we went out for Ramen. Sasuke's in the hospital, but Master Jiraiya said he'd be ok…"

"Who's 'Master Jiraiya'?" Ino asked.

"Oh, yeah," Naruto said, Sakura finally letting go of him, "you don't know him do you? He's REALLY cool! Sarutobi-sensei taught him when he was little, and now he's teaching me!"

"Oh," Sakura stated, "so you're not training under Kakashi-sensei anymore?"

"Well, not so much, I guess not," Naruto agreed, then jumped up and grabbed Sakura, "OMG! You don't know do you!? Kakashi-sensei got his ass kicked by that Itachi guy who beat up Sasuke! He's still unconscious!"

"What!?" Sakura and Ino shouted.

"Yeah," Naruto continued, "this Itachi guys REALLY strong. He's Sasuke's BROTHER. He's a master of the Sharingan and he's the guy that killed off the whole Uchiha clan! Master Jiraiya's looking for one of his former teammates, some lady named Tsunade, to help heal Sasuke and Kakashi though. Guy-sensei said she's really good at medical stuff, so they should be ok…"

Sakura frowned, she wished she was good at medical jutsus. Then she wouldn't have to worry about the others so much cause she could heal them if they got hurt.

"Ok," Sakura sighed, "just tell us where they took Sasuke and Kakashi-sensei so we can go visit them."

Naruto thought for a second, "Valerie and Kate took Sasuke to the hospital, and Guy-sensei said Kakashi was resting at his own house…"

"Valerie and Kate?" Ino asked.

"Oh. Yeah!" Naruto shouted, "I forgot to tell you the really important part! While Master Jiraiya was fighting Itachi and this Kisame guy, these 4 weird girls showed up out of nowhere! Master Jiraiya said they had some potential to be ninja like us, but, get this! They're from some sort of alternate reality or something where there aren't any ninja, and we're all characters in a cartoon all about me! Believe it!"

"Naruto," Sakura began, "what have you been smoking?"

"Gah!" Naruto yelled, "I'm serious! There was this big flash and they just materialized in front of us!!! Master Jiraiya said that 2 of the girls, Kate and Valerie, have chakra too so they could use ninjutsu, and Dee, another one of them, has the potential to be a taijutsu master! And this other girl, Chelsea, is really cool! We went out and had ramen together. She's the girl I was telling you about earlier!"

Sakura stared at him, "I believe you about the girls popping out of nowhere part, but the part about alternate dimensions and this all just being a TV show about you? Not so much."

Ino agreed, "That's totally messed up. There's no WAY this is a cartoon. And if it was, why would it be about a bonehead like you? It would have to be about somebody really cool like Sasuke or drop-dead sexy like me."

"Whatever," Sakura interrupted, "I can see making a show about Sasuke, but you? Please. You couldn't keep ratings up if your life depended on it. Now me on the other hand… I'm smart, attractive, resourceful, and totally awesome! I would make a way better star than-"

"As if!" Ino laughed, "NOBODY would watch a show about YOU! You're totally lame and unimaginably ugly! You're even worse than Naruto!"

"Uh, guys," Naruto tried to interject, "I'm still here you know…"

"Shut up!" Ino and Sakura yelled together.

"Oh…" Naruto sighed, "Ok, whatever… I guess I'll just go now…" He could still here them arguing in the background as he walked away…

_**Meanwhile**_

Dee wandered around Konoha, taking in the sights. It wasn't quite as exciting as she'd pictured it. It was pretty much like your typical small town with street vendors trying to sell you stuff you didn't want, poor people begging for money, and random strangers jabbering away about completely idiotic crap.

She'd seen Chelsea earlier hanging out with Naruto at the Ramen store, but now she wasn't really sure where'd she'd gone off to. Valerie and Kate had taken Sasuke to the hospital while Jiraiya was still looking for Tsunade. Dee sighed, she knew she had the potential to be great at taijutsu, at least according to Jiraiya, but honestly, she didn't really care. That seemed like a lot of hard work, and besides she didn't know how long she'd be staying here or if any of this was even real so what was the point?

Dee stopped when she got to a field with some tall trees in the distance. There were a few deer, grazing here and there, and the grass was fairly unkempt but not too high. Not too far from her she thought she could just make out somebody laying on their back, watching the clouds. "Shikamaru I bet," Dee murmured out loud.

She considered for a moment. Should she go over and join him? He was one of her favorite characters in the anime, but would she really like him in person? And would he like having her around while he was trying to relax? She sighed, then decided to just go for it.

"Who are you?" Shikamaru asked unenthusiastically as she lay down beside him.

"Dee," she replied, equally apathetically, "Mind if I join you?"

"Whatever," Shikamaru replied. They lay their in silence for a while. Most would have found it endlessly boring, but Dee actually enjoyed just laying around doing nothing. She liked watching the clouds, they made the most beautiful patterns, and she enjoyed the silent companionship of Shikamaru. Even if this wasn't real it was at least more fun then Dee normally had…

---

_That's all for chapter 4! I wrote this one again, instead of Kate… Sorry not much happened, but it should start picking up soon. I'll also try to write more about Valerie, Kate, and Chelsea in the future; rather than just focusing on myself and the other characters, since, even I have to admit, I'm pretty damn boring…_


	5. Chapter 5

**Naruto For Dummies **

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

Sorry this was screwed up formatting-wise originally…

Oh… Check out my poll for this fanfic! 5 

Valerie sat outside the hospital room. Ino and Sakura were visiting Sasuke right then and she wasn't too interested in joining in their fangirldom... Chelsea had stopped by too... She had said that Naruto had gone to rejoin Jiraiya in his search for Tsunade.

Val sighed. She had thought being in the Naruto world would be really interesting, but so far she was really bored. Also, she kept losing track of her friends! She had no idea where Kate or Dee had gotten too and Chelsea was visiting Lee right now.

She knew one thing that would make this a lot more fun - learning some ninjutsu! But how? She considered. Kakashi was unconscious so he was no good. Jiraiya was working with Naruto and Tsunade was in areas unknown so they couldn't help out. Actually... why didn't she go see if Iruka could help her? He had taught everyone else ninjutsu, why couldn't he teach her?  
"Iruka-sensei"

Iruka glanced up from his desk. Class was over for the day and all his students had already left. He looked over at the unknown girl standing in his doorway. She looked to old to be one of his pupils, and he'd never seen her before.

"Can I help you?"

Valerie frowned, "Um... I'm... new here... I... I'd like to learn ninjutsu, but I don't have anyone to teach me. Could you teach me the basics"  
Iruka considered. She seemed to have chakra, and she also appeared fairly sincere in her desire to learn.

"Ok," Iruka agreed. He didn't see why not, and besides, he didn't really have anything better to do. "What do you want to learn first?"

Valerie smiled, "Why don't you teach me something simple like the transformation jutsu first?"

**Meanwhile **

"Chelsea right?" 

Chelsea glanced up at Guy-sensei from her seat by Lee's bed. She'd thought it would be nice to visit him, since she felt like he kind of got blown off in the show. "Uh, yeah, Chelsea." 

Guy beamed, "You seem to truly have the bloom of youth." 

"Oh," Chelsea said in confusion, "Uh... Thanks"

Guy continued, "Lee's not really in any condition to learn right now... And Neji and Tenten have been doing a lot of work on their own... So I haven't had much to do lately…" 

Chelsea stared at him... Was he really going to say what she thought he was? 

Guy grinned even more, "How would you like me to teach you some taijutsu and shinobi weapon basics?"

Chelsea jumped up from her seat, "Would you really!? That would be totally awesome! Thank you SO much, I'd LOVE to!"

Guy frowned, "It's going to be a lot of hard work I warn you... Are you sure you're up to it?"

"Definitely!" Chelsea confirmed. This was going to be AWESOME! She was going to be a ninja! Woohoo!

**Elsewhere **

Kate had wasted no time in hunting down a teacher. She had decided fairly quickly that to live in the Naruto world it would be necessary to learn the art of being a ninja. She would have liked to learn from Kakashi, but if he wasn't up to it she'd have to learn from someone else. Most of the others were training right now anyways, so the senseis ought to be up to doing some teaching.

She had decided to seek out Kurenai. She'd found her working one-on-one with Hinata. "Kurenai-sensei?"

"Hmm?"

Kate tried to think of a good way to explain this, "I'm new to Konoha, and I've never had any experience as a ninja... But I'd really like to learn. I think I have some potential... Or so I've been told! And, well, if you could teach me something... I won't trouble you for very long! It'll just be temporary! But, would you…?"

Kurenai smiled, "I've been going over some fairly simple techniques with Hinata and my other students. I heard about you, you're one of those 'alternate dimension' girls right? I'll teach you... But my students come first. If you want me to teach you, you're going to have to work with me in the evenings after I'm done working with them. Is that ok with you?"

Kate nodded, "Sure. Thanks." Yeah! She had an instructor!

**Around the Same Time **

"Shikamaru! Where did you go?"

Shikamaru opened one eye and glanced around him. Asuma-sensei probably wanted to train him or something... What a drag... He looked over at the girl sleeping in the grass not too far from him.

"Shikamaru!?"

He rolled his eyes, then stood up, spotting Asuma.

"What do you want?"

Asuma sighed, walking towards him, "Shikamaru, have you heard about the-" He stopped, noticing Dee still sleeping on the ground. "Oh... I guess I don't have to tell you after all…"

"Yeah..." Shikamaru trailed off.

Dee woke up and noticed the two guys staring down at her. She jumped up and brushed herself off, looking at Asuma. "Uh... Sorry about that…"

Asuma chuckled, "No problem. I was just thinking of holding a training session for Shikamaru, Ino, and Choji. The Chunin exams may be over, but they should still focus on improving their skills."

"How troublesome," Shikamaru groaned.

"Anyways," Asuma continued as if he had never been interrupted, "how would you like to join us?"

"I'm not a ninja," Dee replied instantly.

Asuma smiled, "That's ok. Everyone has to start somewhere! You can learn some of the simple stuff like how to throw shuriken, use kunai, jump from tree to tree, or do the transformation or clone jutsu."

"I don't know," Dee answered, glancing at Shikamaru, "that seems like a lot of work. And I doubt I'll be any good at it. Plus, I'll just be slowing the rest of you down. I don't mind watching, but I'm not so sure I want to learn…"

Asuma couldn't help but laugh a little, she reminded him a lot of Shikamaru. "How about this? I'll train you for just half an hour a day, and you can just watch the rest of the time. It's just that, this is a dangerous place if you're not a ninja. Don't you think you should know something?"

"I guess..." Dee gave in.

"Great!" Asuma grinned, "Come on Shikamaru!"

"Ugh..." Shikamru grumbled, slowly following his sensei. He wouldn't admit it, but even though he barely knew this girl, it still made him a little more motivated to know she'd be watching him today while he trained. Maybe he'd actually try for once...


	6. Chapter 6

**Naruto For Dummies **

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

Chapter 6

One month had passed since Kate, Dee, Chelsea, and Valerie arrived in Konoha. Naruto and Jiraiya had returned from their trip along with Tsunade who had quickly become accustomed to her role as Hokage.

A lot had happened while Naruto had been away, and he was quite surprised to see the changes that had taken place upon his return.

"Kakashi-sensei!" he shouted happily as he walked into the village.

Kakashi glanced over and smiled when he saw Naruto, "Long time no see. I heard you were training under Jiraiya..."

"Believe it!" Naruto shouted, "I learned an awesome new technique! Do you want to see it???"

"Well," Kakashi sweat dropped, "not now! I'm actually working with one of my new pupils."

Naruto glanced to the side and was shocked to see Kate. She hardly even looked like she had when she first appeared. Her hair had grown out much longer and she had changed her clothes to look more like a native of the Leaf Village.

Kate had started taking private lessons from Kakashi when he came to. She had been staying at the Hyuuga mansion with Hinata for the past month.

Kate didn't bother to let Kakashi finish his conversation with Naruto, "You dropped your guard Kakashi-sensei!" Kate made a grab for the bell dangling from Kakashi's belt, but he easily evaded her.

"Not good enou-" Kakashi began, then his eyes went wide. The Kate that he had just managed to avoid poofed away into a puff of smoke and a second Kate appeared behind him. She narrowly missed the bell by less than an inch.

Naruto was impressed, it had taken him far longer than a month to learn the clone jutsu and he had certainly never come that close to grabbing Kakashi's bells.

**Elsewhere**

Dee had been meant to learn taijutsu, but it had seemed like too much physical effort to her and she refused to work particularly hard at it at all. Asuma saw some potential for her in learning seals, and had had her learn one every two or three days for the past month. She had been learning remarkably fast, but still seemed to lack basic motivation to him.

Dee had started wearing a black turtle neck and pants with an olive green vest that made her stand out a lot less when wandering around the streets of Konoha. She had been staying at the Yamanaka Flower Shop, but could often be found in the evenings at the Nara residence playing chess against Shikamaru or just watching the clouds by his side.

Valerie had also learned a lot in the past month. She visited Sasuke's hospital room every day or two, but only if Sakura and Ino weren't there. She had gotten very good at genjutsu, better than most of the longtime ninja of the Hidden Leaf Village. She had been staying at the Haruno residence.

Chelsea had gotten really good at taijutsu. She had been staying at Tenten's home in the mean time. It had been, well, _interesting_ to say the least. Chelsea was NOT a morning person... Tenten was... And there wasn't any caffeine in this world... Which, thinking of Naruto, was PROBABLY a good thing.

**Back to Kakashi**

Kakashi had settled down and was now reading the latest installment of the Paradise series.

Roughly 12 feet behind him, Kate and Naruto were hiding in the bushes, plotting how exactly they were to retrieve the bells.

"How did you retrieve the bell?" Kate whispered to Naruto.

Naruto smiled awkwardly. "Well you see, I first used Sasuke to distract him and then Sakura snuck up behind him. Then I hid behind a tree, and when he passed I grabbed it from him."

Kate wasn't sure whether or not to believe him. She specifically remembered Kakashi describing Naruto as a disgrace to ninjas. She laughed awkwardly. "No really. What happened?" she asked.

Naruto smiled, "he he, well to be honest we didn't actually get them." Kate was stunned, she knew that the only way that she could pass this challenge would be to get the bells from Kakashi, but if no team had ever gotten them before, how could she?

"Can you help me?" she questioned Naruto.

"BELIEVE IT!!" he yelled as a reply. Kate slapped him, "Shut up you retard, he will hear us and we will have to find a different hiding spot." Naruto looked a little confused, but quickly got over it.

Kate ran ahead, Naruto followed closely behind. "Okay," she said, "what we are going to do is..." Kate began to whisper, and Naruto listened carefully making sure to take in every word.

**Three Hours Later**

Kate sat on top of the wooden post two feet in-front of Kakashi, holding both bells in her left hand.

"So how'd I do sensei?" she asked, practically glowing. Kakashi still hadn't gotten over the fact that he had been beaten for the first time in his history of being a ninja.

"V-very well..." he said, stunned. Kate's attack had taken him completely by surprise. She had used Naruto as a distraction. Naruto had surrounded him on all sides, and then suddenly attacked. Kakashi had easily avoided the attack, jumping in the air and landing smoothly far away. The next thing he knew Kate was in front of him, dangling the bells in front of his face. He still hadn't worked out exactly how she did it.

"Well good work," Kakashi stated, finally getting over his shock, "let's break for lunch."

"Ramen?" Naruto asked, his eyes bugging out.

"I want Chipotle," Kate mumbled.

"Is Chipotle a type of Ramen?" Naruto yelled questioningly.

"No," Kate said, rolling her eyes, "Chipotle is a fast food restaurant back in America where you can get really delicious Burritos and other Mexican food." Kakashi and Naruto stared at her dumbstruck, not knowing what the words 'Chipotle,' 'fast food,' 'America,' 'Burrito,' or 'Mexican' meant. Kate stared at them for a while, before deciding that they were a lost cause.

She put the bells in the back left pocket and walked home to the Hyuuga household to eat lunch with Hinata and Neji.

**At the Hospital**

Valerie stood at Sasuke's side, clutching flowers and holding back tears for her favorite character.

Sasuke opened his eyes, the first words out of his mouth were "Who... the hell... are you?"

His tone was slightly angry, yet full of wonder and curiosity at the same time.

"It's a long story," Valerie answered, "remind me to tell you later."

Sasuke nodded, and fell back asleep, a smirk on his face.


	7. Chapter 7

**Naruto For Dummies **

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

Chapter 7

Sasuke opened his eyes slowly, _Where am I?_ Then everything came rushing back to him. "Itachi," he breathed. Why couldn't he ever be good enough to beat his brother? Why did he always lose?

He looked around his hospital room, taking in all he surveyed. On his desk were to bouquets, one from Sakura and one from Ino, a box of candies from Naruto, a card from Kakashi, and a small wrapped present from someone named Valerie.

He turned in the other direction and nearly jumped out of his bed. There was a girl sleeping in a chair not to far from his bed. He had never seen her before, or had he? She seemed vaguely familiar and he could barely remember having some conversation with her at some point. She was very pretty, but looked rather troubled, even though she was asleep. Was this the Valerie that had left him the present?

"Sasuke!!!" a high pitched girls voice screeched. Sakura ran over and hugged him, "We were so worried about you!" He glanced at Naruto who had also entered the room; Naruto beamed.

Finally, he looked over at Valerie, she was awake now and looking at him with a sheepish smirk. He couldn't help but like her smile.

**A Little Later**

Tsunade frowned, she had just finished a consultation with Rock Lee and his sensei. She was sad she'd had to tell him what she did, but she just felt that the risks of an operation would be too great. He ought to just give up on being a ninja.

"Tsunade-sama!" a nurse called out to her. Tsunade turned to greet her.

"What is it!?"

"It's the Uchiha," the nurse breathed excitedly, "He's awake!"

Tsunade raised her eyebrows then nodded, "Run and tell Kakashi. I'm sure he'll be relieved."

The nurse ran to go do as she was told and Tsunade smiled after her, then turned to go visit Sasuke.

**Late That Evening**

The fifth Hokage sat at her desk, frowning. Though Sasuke was obviously in fine condition physically, it was the psychological damage she was worried about. She had other problems to worry about as well. Rock Lee's sensei seemed to want her to perform the surgery, regardless of risks, but she was greatly opposed to this.

Also, the chunnin exams would be coming up again in about 5 months, which meant she needed to start coordinating with the other kages, plus start reviewing gennin recommendations. She wasn't sure how this exam was going to work. There was still no kazekage and with Orochimaru still around, the village was not safe from attack.

She also was concerned about the 4 alternate-dimension girls. They did not technically have any rankings for the most part and she wasn't sure how to set them up in teams or what rank to give them. She had spoken to Kakashi-sensei who said he considered Kate to be at the gennin level, and to Iruka who also considered Valerie at gennin strength. Guy-sensei was to rapped up about Lee to be overly worried about Chelsea, so she hadn't spoken with him yet, and Asuma-sensei had been rather impressed with Dee, but wasn't sure she was ready to start think about the chunnin exams.

With Shikamaru already graduated and Lee injured there were some extra positions open to let the newer ninja in, but would they be good enough by the exams? They all had very different talents, Valerie was good with genjutsu, Kate with ninjutsu, and Chelsea with taijutsu. If she put those three together they would make a good team. However, Dee was the strangest. She was best with seals, but also knew a very small amount of taijutsu, ninjutsu, and genjutsu. She just didn't know what to do with them… They hadn't even been on a real mission yet!

Wait! That was it! If she sent them on a couple missions she could better gauge their strength and how well they worked with some of the other ninja. She smiled, then called Shizune over.

"Yes, ma'am?"

Tsunade grinned, "Call Kakashi, Asuma, Kurenai, and Guy to my office as well as Chelsea, Kate, Valerie, and Dee. I need to have a talk with them."

"Yes ma'am! Will do!!!"

Tsunade picked up a list of mission requests sitting on her desk and could barely contain her laughter. This ought to be quite interesting she thought, flashing on evil smile.


	8. Chapter 8

**Naruto For Dummies **

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

Chapter 8

Kate sighed, waiting for the last members of her team to show up. _Why me?_ she thought to herself. She glanced at Kiba who was also waiting for the last two members of their team. She liked working with Kiba and Shino, a lot, but why those two? She knew the official reasons were to promote the recently renewed Suna-Konoha alliance, but still. _I mean, Temari's ok,_ Kate thought, _but KANKURO!? Why!?_

Kiba yawned, scratching Akamaru's ears and looking at Kate. "They're pretty late, huh?"

Kate nodded, "Wonder what's keeping them?"

Shino frowned, but said nothing.

Kate thought about the mission they were supposed to go on. She had watched a LOT of Naruto, and she distinctly remembered watching this filler arc. What bothered her some was that in the anime, this arc came long after the Sasuke Retrieval arc and did NOT involve Kiba, Temari, OR Kankuro. Was her and her friends presence in this world somehow effecting the flow of events? She knew how everything was SUPPOSED to play out, but could she and the others perhaps somehow change the course of these events???

A sudden whirlwind drew all of their attention.

"Hey," Temari said, landing elegantly on the Hokage's roof, "Sorry I'm late."

"Sup?" Kankuro added, seemingly appearing out of nowhere.

Kiba got a sudden shiver. When these guys had been enemies they had seemed pretty scary, and it was hard adjusting to the idea of them as friends. Shino scowled, he still remembered his fight with Kankuro and wasn't really looking forward to this mission.

"It's weird not having a jounin leader with us, huh?" Temari stated, pleasantly.

"What's our mission anyways," Kankuro added, "Nobody in Suna bothered to tell us."

Kate sighed, "We're supposed to catch a psychotic former member of the Seven Swordsman of the Mist named Raiga. He's taken over some village and is now terrorizing it. Are job is to capture him, rescue the village, and see if he knows anything about Kisame Hoshigaki, the Akatsuki member."

"Ok," Temari said, "Got it. I suppose we're heading to the Land of Water then… Ready to go?"

"We should establish a leader first," Shino butted in.

Kiba frowned, "Since this mission was sent to Konoha I think one of the Konoha ninjas should be in charge."

Shino nodded, "Ok, I'll be in charge. Any objections?"

No one said anything.

"Alright then," Kate smiled, "then we're ready to go!" Kate could barely contain her excitement. Her very first ninja mission!!! And, because she'd watched the anime she would know exactly what to do! Or would she?

**Meanwhile**

Chelsea smiled. She liked her group; Chouji, Hinata, and Tenten. Lee was currently undergoing an operation, he had decided to go through with it after all, and was disappointed he couldn't come also. He said he might meet up with them later, if Tsunade allowed it. Chelsea would have liked his company, but she also liked her group. It was kind of completely random though… And almost ALL girls…

"Where are we going again?" Chelsea asked, suddenly realizing she had NO idea.

Chouji nodded, "I forgot as well."

Hinata blushed, "I… I believe we are going to the land of birds… to… investigate the mystery of some… of a ghost…"

Tenten rolled her eyes, "I don't know why it takes FIVE of us to do something as simple as that…"

"I wonder if they have good food?" Chouji said questioningly to himself.

"Hey," Chelsea pondered, "who's going to be in charge of us?"

"I'll be in charge!" Tenten offered.

"That's ok with me," Chelsea offered, "Is that ok with everybody else?"

Nobody complained.

**Elsewhere**

Valerie, Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto stood in Tsunade's office. They had just received their mission, to go the Land of Tea and help someone named Idate Morino win a high stakes race. Valerie couldn't have been happier with her team! Ok, she could have been. Sakura was kind of an annoying fan girl, and Naruto was a TOTAL pain in the ass, but it could have been worse!

Sasuke found it interesting that he was on a team with this Valerie girl. He still didn't know as much about her as he would have liked, and what he did know made him like her all the more. Sakura was NOT to pleased to have Valerie on their team however, she seemed like yet another rival, like Ino.

Sasuke frowned as they walked out Tsunade's door, "I'll be in charge of the group."

"WHAT!!!" Naruto yelled, "I want to be in charge!"

Sasuke shook his head, "Who would want a dim-wit for a leader?"

"Hey!" Naruto shouted.

"Calm down, you two," Sakura yawned, "Why don't we have a vote."

"Ok," Valerie agreed, "All in favor of Naruto as leader raise their hand."

"Dattebayo!" Naruto exclaimed, raising his hand. He was the only one.

"Well," Sasuke grinned, "That settles it. I'm the leader."

Naruto shot Sasuke a dirty look, and then proceeded to pout the whole way to the gates of Konoha.

**At That Time**

"This group's completely weird," Ino said.

Shikamaru sighed, "How troublesome…"

"What's taking Gaara so freaking long to get here!?" Ino demanded.

Neji rolled his eyes… Or he would have if he actually had pupils. Then paused and exclaimed, "Byakugan! …I see him… He's just entering the village, he should be here any moment."

Dee sighed, she had to agree with Ino. This group was completely random. Neji, herself, Ino, Shikamaru, and Gaara. You didn't get much stranger than that! Their mission was fairly simple though, they just had to catch some common thief. She had no idea why it took FIVE ninja to do that… Their team would at least have no problem deciding on a leader; Shikamaru was the only chunnin, so he was automatically in charge.

---

_Hope you liked it! I feel like I'm finally going to start GETTING somewhere! Next chapter is Valerie's mission!!!_


	9. Chapter 9

Naruto for Dummies

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

_I would like to thank Kate for helping me out A LOT on this one _

**Chapter Nine**

As the team wandered along, almost aimlessly, Kate began to wonder if Dee, Valerie or Chelsea had come to a similar conclusion. 'At least Dee should suspect something,' she thought to herself.  
Dee herself had suspected for quite some time that their presence was disrupting the natural balance of the story. And she, like Kate, wondered if the others had figured it out. 

"Uh, Shikamaru?" she asked, slightly nervous.

"Yeah?" Shikamaru answered putting as little effort into the speech as possible.

"Is there any way that I could run on ahead to talk to Kate about something for a second?" she said in a rush, resulting in none of her companions understanding her. Shikamaru nodded, it wasn't worth using the energy to re-listen to her mounds of loud, quick sentences.

Dee thanked him twice; Shikamaru raised one eyebrow at her.

Gaara, Neji, and Ino gawked at her as she ran off.

"That girl's kind of different," Neji said slowly. Gaara tilted his head in agreement.

"Girls are troublesome," Shikamaru said, a bit exasperated, yet with a slight smirk on his face.

It didn't take Dee long to catch up to Kate's team.

"KATE!" she yelled as she approached, "KaaaaaaaaaaaTE!!"

The entire team turned around to look at her, "yeah?" Kate responded, tentatively.

"Kate," Dee gasped for air, "I... need to... talk to you... about how... we are affecting... this story." Kate nodded, then turned to her team, "why don't you go on ahead, I will catch up in a second." Shino stared at her for a while, not saying anything, then finally turned around and continued down the path, at a slightly slower pace than they were going originally. Shocked, the rest of the team followed, Kiba in the rear, looking over his shoulder to make sure that they were okay.

"Listen," said Dee, who had finally caught her breath, "I think that our presence is interfering with the plot of the story." 

"Definitely," Kate responded, "But what I want to know, is how it is effecting the actual show."

Dee looked slightly confused for a second, so Kate elaborated.

"Well you see, we are going on missions that have already taken place in the episodes, right?" Dee nodded. "I am just wondering," Kate continued, "is if the actual episodes are turning into what we are doing right now."

"You mean...?" Dee started.

"Yeah," Kate answered, "I think that we may have become actual characters in the Naruto series."

As Kate and Dee were discussing the possibilities of being a Naruto character, and how exactly this would effect their being able to get home, Valerie's team was almost ready to leave.

"Let's go!" Naruto roared, racing far ahead of the rest of his team.

"Where does he get all that energy from?" Valerie sighed. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

Sakura frowned, "Naruto, you should try and conserve you're energy. The Land of Tea is several days away from here…"

Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, and Valerie sat around a camp fire, watching the sun go down. It had been a long day of walking for all of them.

"I think we should keep going!" Naruto complained.

Sakura glared at him, "Naruto, it's not smart to travel at night!"

Naruto stuck his tongue out, "But I'm not tired!"

Sasuke looked at him in an annoyed manner, "Naruto, shut up."

Naruto made a pouty face, "Who died and made you king?"

"Naruto," Valerie said in exasperation, "that's enough. Sakura and Sasuke are right; we shouldn't travel around at night. It would be easier for enemy ninja to ambush us. Besides, this is a really long journey, we need to get plenty of rest."

"Fine," Naruto gave in, not too happily.

Sakura sighed, "I think we should take turns keeping watch tonight. Anyone disagree?"

Sasuke nodded, "Good idea. Naruto, why don't you take first watch duty?"

"Why me!?" Naruto whined.

"Naruto," Sasuke stated angrily, "I am in charge! Do as you're told!"

Naruto clenched his teeth, but did not dispute this.

**Later That Night**

It was finally Valerie's shift. She sat in one of the highest branches of a tree directly beside their camp. Bathed in moonlight, she slowly began to doze off.

_**Crack!**_

_What's that?_ Valerie thought, snapping to attention. She glanced around and noticed a bush almost directly beneath her rustle ever so slightly.

Valerie reached for a kunai at her waist and silently worked her way down the tree. "Magen: Jubaku Satsu," Valerie whispered and appeared to disappear.

Naruto tripped on his way back from relieving himself. "What the heck?" he said. The roots of one of the trees nearby him had suddenly wrapped themselves around his legs. Suddenly a figure began to materialize from higher up in the trunk.

"Kage Bunshin No Jutsu!"

Valerie suddenly found herself amidst a pile of bodies. _Shit, _she thought.

"Katon: Gokakyu No Jutsu!" somebody called out.

"WAAH!!!" the clones shrieked as they poofed away in a stream of fire.

Valerie blinked, and then looked up at Sasuke.

"Naruto, what do you think you're doing?" Sasuke glowered.

Naruto twitched in embarrassment, "She started it!"

Valerie blushed, then glanced back at Sasuke, "Uh… My bad… Sorry…"

Sasuke just shook his head, "It's not your fault. Anyone would have thought Naruto was suspicious, creeping around in the dark like that…"

Naruto fumed, "I was just going to the bathroom!"

Sasuke sighed, "Whatever… Why don't you just go to bed now?"

Naruto was annoyed, but didn't see what else he could say, "Fine, that's what I was trying to do anyways!"

Naruto got up, and brushed himself off. Valerie felt kind of bad, "I'm sorry, Naruto. I really didn't mean to attack you…"

Naruto heaved a sigh, It's ok…" He then shuffled off.

Valerie picked herself up and looked at Sasuke, "Do you want to take over now?"

Sasuke looked at her carefully, then smirked, "Why should I? You seem to be doing fine."

"But I-" Valerie began.

"Don't worry about it," Sasuke said surprisingly kindly, "I meant what I said. It could have happened to anyone. But, if you really want… I wouldn't mind going on watch with you…?"

Valerie blinked in surprise, "Oh…"

"If you don't want me to though-" Sasuke trailed off.

"No," Valerie could hardly contain her smile, "that would be… really nice…"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, then smiled. The two made their way back up the tree. The moon covered them in its light as they sat together in companionable silence for the rest of the night.

---

Demonic Illusion: Tree Bind Death

Shadow Clone Technique

Fire Release: Great Fireball Technique


	10. Chapter 10

Naruto for Dummies

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

_I would like to thank Kate for helping me out A LOT on this one _

**Chapter Ten**

"Oh snap, what NOW!?" Dee exclaimed, standing over a pile of incapacitated missing ninjas…

Neji and Ino sweat dropped. _When did she get so good at taijutsu?_ Neji wondered.

Gaara stood expressionlessly nearby, his own pile of recaptured ninja a little worse for ware than the others…

Shikamaru heaved a sigh; Dee was actually pretty scary when you really got down to it. In all honesty, her laziness was probably the only thing keeping her from quickly surpassing him and the rest of the rookie 9.

"I guess we're done," Neji stated, glancing at the list they'd been given by Tsunade.

"Wow!" Ino said pleasantly, "I had thought it would take a LOT longer than that."

Shikamaru had to agree; the entire mission had taken less than a day.

"Should we head back?" Gaara asked, saying more words in that one sentence than he had said all day.

Shikamaru knew that Gaara had changed, he was an ally now, but he still wasn't so sure he liked him that much.

"I suppose we should…" Dee admitted, disappointedly. That had been her first ninja mission and she wasn't quite ready for it to be over.

The five shinobis began their short journey home.

"Ow," Dee winced, glancing down at her ankle as they walked.

"Are you okay?" Neji inquired. Shikamaru and Ino glanced at her in concern.

"I'm fine," Dee reassured them, "I just hurt it a little when I was fighting."

"Girls are always so troublesome. Don't push yourself too much," Shikamaru said in a bored tone.

Dee stuck her tongue out in annoyance. She had an incredible lazy streak, but she also didn't like getting talked down to. She could be kind of arrogant and overly competitive at times…

"Waah!" Dee shrieked, tripping as her ankle twisted in a funny manner.

_Oomph_. Gaara's sand caught her.

"Let me see your ankle," Gaara said in an uninterested way. He looked it over carefully than proclaimed, "I think you tore some muscles. You should probably have a medical ninja fix it when we get back."

"Oh," Dee sighed, "Ok. Thanks."

They started off again. Shikamaru frowned, he didn't know why, but Gaara was annoying him more than usual. He would have caught her too, if Gaara hadn't been faster, and he would have taken a look at her ankle, if Gaara hadn't beat him too it. _What's my problem? _Shikamaru wondered, _Why do I care?_ He sighed once again, _What a drag…_

---

"I can't believe they're kicking us out, after all we've done for them!" Tenten fumed.

"I know," Chelsea agreed, "and we haven't even finished our mission."

"It's kind of suspicious," Chouji added, "throwing us out when we almost solved who the ghost was."

"But," Hinata mumbled, "if they don't want us to investigate anymore than our mission's over…"

"I don't know," Chelsea complained, "I don't like it…"

"Maybe we should go back?" Tenten suggested.

"But they told us to leave!" Hinata said fearfully, "They'll throw us in jail or have us executed!"

"If they don't want us around, it's not our problem," Chelsea said, "But still… I don't like starting things and then leaving them unfinished…"

"Don't you think that prince was kind of strange too? And the old advisor guy…" Chouji pointed out.

"Definitely!" Tenten nodded.

"Hmm…" Chelsea considered, "I think maybe we should… But we'll have to be sneaky about it."

Hinata gave in, "Actually, when I was using my byakugan… I found a lot of clues… I think I have an idea what might be going on… Maybe…?"

"Ok, it's decided!" Tenten shouted, "We're going back!"

"Shh," Chouji protested, "Not so loud! Sneaky, remember?"

"Oh yeah. Right." Tenten blushed in embarrassment.

"Anyways," Chouji continued, "I actually have an idea for once…"

"Really!" Tenten said excitedly, "What!?"

Hinata nodded, "I have some ideas too… If you want them…"

"Of course we do," Chelsea beamed.

"Well… Ok… Here goes…" Hinata murmured…

---

"Oh, please try some," the old lady begged, "It's good for your soul!"

Kate, Kiba, Shino, Kankuro, and Temari stared at the disturbing piles of 'curry' that had been plopped on their plates.

"Um," Kiba complained, "is it just me? Or is curry NOT supposed to be black… Or have live animals in it…"

"Ewww…" Kate shuddered.

"Uh," Temari twitched, "Thank you very much ma'am, but we have a lot to do, so maybe we'll have some next time instead…"

"Oh," the old lady smiled, "but that's perfect then! My 'Curry of Life' will give you all the strength you need for your mission! See!!!"

The lady suddenly grabbed a spoonful of the, um, 'curry' and shoved it into Shino's mouth.

"BLARGH!!!" Shino choked, turning bright red and shooting fire from his mouth.

"Who's next?" the lady asked happily.

Kiba, Kate, Kankuro, and Temari sweat dropped. "Uh, yeah…" Kankuro said awkwardly, "I think we'll definitely be going now…"

The little old lady watched sadly as Shino, Kate, Kiba, Kankuro, and Temari made a run for it…


	11. Chapter 11

Naruto for Dummies

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

**Chapter Eleven**

_This is actually kind of boring…_ Valerie thought as she sat aboard a ship alongside Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto, and some guy named "Iwata" or "Iwuta" or something stupid like that… They were supposed to help protect him while he ran some race, but so far not much had happened. There had been one attack, but Naruto had taken care of it for the most part.

"It's kind of nice and peaceful out, huh?" Sakura smiled, edging closer to Val.

Valerie glanced at her, "Yeah… It really is…"

Sakura nodded. She hated to admit it, but she was actually really jealous of Val. She had seen what had happened the other night; how Sasuke treated Valerie, and it bothered her. Sasuke had only Val for a very short period of time, and he already seemed to like her a lot. In fact, he was nicer to her than he was to Sakura, who had known him much longer. It just wasn't fair…

"Sakura-chan!!!" Naruto exclaimed, interrupting Sakura's thoughts.

"What is it, Naruto?"

"I'm HUNGRY!!!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "You're ALWAYS hungry…"

"I wasn't talking to YOU," Naruto shot back.

"Moron..." Sasuke sighed.

Sakura twinged in annoyance; why did those two ALWAYS have to be fighting about something?

Valerie ignored them. She was wondering what the others were doing right now… She hadn't seen Kate or Dee in a while… Actually she hadn't seen Chelsea lately either, but she didn't really know Chelsea that well…

It still seemed kind of unreal, being in the Naruto TV series, but she was actually getting kind of used to it…

---

"So that's Raiga, huh?" Kiba asked, from their position atop a cliff overlooking the village. After escaping the 'Curry Lady,' Kate and her team had made their way to the town, where former swordsman of the mist, Raiga, was carrying out an inhumane mining operation.

"He doesn't look so tough," Temari stated.

"I bet I could take him out in 10 seconds flat," Kankuro agreed.

"You shouldn't underestimate your opponent," Shino pointed out.

"He has a lot of people working for him," Kate added, "It will be a little harder than it looks. Plus, he used to be one of the seven swordsman of the mist, like Zabuza or Kisame, so he has to be pretty tough."

"Who are Kisame and Zabuza?" Temari inquired.

"Never mind," Kate sighed, "I forgot you haven't met them yet… Well, actually I guess you'll never get to meet Zabuza…"

Kiba raised an eyebrow at her, "Ok, then… Well, at any rate, we need to come up with some sort of plan…"

"I have an idea," Shino stated, "Kiba, you use Akamaru to get Raiga to get stuck in one of Kankuro's puppets. Meanwhile, Temari and Kate should take out his henchman, while I use my bugs to protect the villagers. It's fairly simple, and covers all the variables…"

"I don't like that plan," Temari disagreed, "I doubt that Raiga guy is THAT stupid. We should just do an all-out frontal attack on him. That way we'd take him by surprise, and we could beat him down before he could try anything or figure out what was going on."

"But that doesn't take care of his minions, or the villagers," Kate pointed out.

"Kate's right," Kankuro nodded, "I think we shouldn't try making any attacks right now. We should wait till they have another one of those funerals we saw earlier. Then all the bad guys will be together in the same place and their won't be any civilians around so nobody else will be in danger."

"But then we'll be outnumbered," Kiba disputed, "I think we should try subtly picking off his minions one by one until we've reduced their numbers to the point where we have the upper hand."

"But don't you think Raiga would notice if his subordinates started going missing?" Temari said in aggravation.

"He obviously doesn't care very much about them," Kiba shot back, "I doubt he'd suspect anything if we picked off as many as a dozen!"

"No," Kate frowned, "You're wrong. He holds special memories of everyone around him, that's why he has those funerals. He'd definitely notice something was up if we even killed off one of his assistants."

"Ugh," Kankuro groaned, "This is so stupid. Let's just pick a plan, and stick to it!"

Shino nodded, "Tsunade put me in charge, so I think I should get to make the final decision. I believe we should go with Temari's idea and try a surprise attack. However, I want to be a little more cautious about it then anyone suggested. Kate, Temari, Kiba, I'm leaving you in charge of the actual attack. My job will be to make sure none of the villagers are hurt. Kankuro, I want you to stay back and hide. If things start going badly I'm counting on you to intervene, got it?"

"Sure," Kankuro sighed.

"Got it," Kiba and Kate stated in unison.

"Fine," Temari agreed, "Let's go then."

---

Chelsea stared at the two fighting in front of her. Who knew the prince was actually a princess?

"This is getting way too freaky for my liking…" Tenten whispered.

Chelsea had to agree. That old guy was pretty freaky too. What was up with him using Sharingan just a moment ago? He wasn't an Uchiha so how was that possible?

"I don't think she can make it without our help," Hinata murmured sadly.

Chouji nodded, "We should do something."

"Hey, you four, come out now!" another ninja shouted.

All four of them jumped, then turned around. They'd been spotted!

"Ugh… It's such a waste of time to fight a bunch of losers like you, but I guess I don't have a choice," the ninja sighed.

"Shit, what do we do now?" Chelsea asked.

Chouji frowned, "You three go help out the princess. I'll take care of this guy…"

"Are you sure?" Chelsea asked, concerned.

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

"Ok. Hinata, Tenten, let's go!" Chelsea yelled.

"Alright!!!" they both agreed in unison. Finally, an actual fight!


	12. Chapter 12

Naruto for Dummies

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

**Chapter Twelve**

"Baika no Jutsu!" Choji shouted, suddenly becoming a huge ball of fat. He began to roll very quickly, then made a hurtle toward the enemy ninja.

"Doton: Fuyu!" the other ninja hollered. A nearby rock exploded into tiny bits, then reformed as a platform beneath his feet, carrying him into the air and out of reach of Choji's attack.

_That's weird_ Choji thought. _Isn't that one of Gaara's techniques?_

"Bubun Baika no Jutsu!" Choji exclaimed. His arm suddenly got very large, stretching out and swatting at the other ninja.

"Doton Kyu!" the enemy shinobi proclaimed. Suddenly some of his stones came apart and swirled around Choji's arm. Choji quickly withdrew it, realizing this was a rip-off of Gaara's Desert Coffin technique.

_Crap, this guy's pretty tough._ Chouji thought warily…

---

"Kagemane No Jutsu!" the ninja currently fighting the land of tea's princess shouted. _Crap_ she thought as she suddenly appeared to be trapped by his shadow.

"Hmph," he laughed, "now you must copy my movements exactly. _Shit!_ she thought as her hand, carrying a sword in it, slowly moved toward her throat.

"Um," Chelsea stated, popping up behind the head enemy ninja, "lame much?"

Tenten threw a shuriken and snapped the wires attached to the princess's arm.

"That moves a signature of Konoha's Nara clan," Hinata mumbled, "There's no way you could know it…" She moved near the princess, to protect her.

"Grrr…" the ninja growled, moving away from Chelsea.

"You're dumb tricks are so pathetic," Tenten sighed, pulling out a scroll.

"Hah! Tricks you say!!!" the ninja chuckled uneasily, "I am the greatest copy ninja in the world. Even greater than Hatake Kakashi! You should all tremble before me!"

"Yeah right," Tenten shook her head, "Tobidogu!" Tenten summoned a massive amount of kunai which she chucked at the enemy shinobi.

"Kugutsu no Jutsu!" the ninja proclaimed, suddenly pulling out a ninja puppet that seemed to be attached to his hand by chakra threads.

"As if!" Chelsea rolled her eyes, "That's just an ordinary puppet isn't it… Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" Chelsea created a bunch of shadow clones of herself, "Bunshin Taiatari!" Chelsea's clones sweeped down, taking out the enemy shinobi's 'puppet' as well as him…

"WAAH!" he screamed as he was pummeled into the ground.

---

Chouji and the other ninja breathed heavily, staring each other down. The enemy shinobi had somehow managed to transform himself entirely into stone.

"Give up," the ninja said, shaking his head, "you can't beat me. This stone is unbreakable!"

"Unbreakable?" Chouji repeated, then reached into his pocket and pulled out a box full of pills. He popped a green one in his mouth, and then was surrounded by a swirling mass of chakra. "We'll see about that… Chou Harite!" Chouji's arm glowed with intense power.

"What!?" the other shinobi exclaimed in shock, and then, "Oomph…" as Chouji slammed his arm into him, sending him flying and putting cracks in his rock shield

"Nikudan Sensha!" Chouji continued, hurtling after his opponent.

"AAAHHH!" the ninja shrieked as Chouji rammed into him at full force. The shinobi exploded into a sea of dust…


	13. Chapter 13

Naruto for Dummies

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

**Chapter 13**

Dee swerved out of the way of another one of Neji's attacks. They had been practicing for about four or five hours now, and she was starting to get tired.

"I'm home," Hinata softly proclaimed, walking through the Hyuuga mansions gate.

"Unh," Neji affirmed, blocking one of Dee's moves.

Hinata watched as the two continued to spar, they seemed fairly evenly matched, but Neji wasn't using his Byakugan.

"Hello, Hinata," Hanabi, Hinata's little sister, said politely, carrying a tray of tea and setting it down near the two in training, "How was your mission?"

"Ok," Hinata replied quietly.

"Dee, let's take a break now," Neji stated.

"Alright," Dee agreed thankfully.

"I wonder when Kate will be back?" Hinata asked in concern.

"You shouldn't worry about her," Dee replied, smirking slightly, "Kate will be fine."

Neji raised an eyebrow, than took a sip of his tea.

---

"Where did this fog come from?" Kiba whined, moving out of the way of another one of Raiga's punches. Their strategy hadn't been working out as well as they had expected.

"I can't see anything!" Kate panted.

"Temari," Shino explained, "try blowing it away with your fan."

"Good idea," Temari agreed, "Kamaitachi no Jutsu!"

There was no effect.

"Ugh," Kiba winced as he was sent flying through the air by one of Raiga's kicks.

"Kiba!" Kate yelled, running to his aid, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Kiba groaned, "That one just got me by surprise."

Kankuro came out from his hiding place, deciding that the attack wasn't going particularly well.

"Have any ideas?" Temari asked him.

"I think we should nuke him!" Kankuro proclaimed in a souther accent.

"What the hell?" Temari said, staring at him.

"I have no idea what that means or why I just said that," Kankuro complained, looking confused. (a/c: everytime kate reads my fanfic she makes Kankuro have a southern accent and talk about nuking everyone, so I just couldn't resist... lol)

"We need to focus our attack on that thing on his back," Kiba stated, trying to ignore Kankuro's out of character moment.

Kate nodded, "There's a kid with a powerful kekkei genkai in their. He's the source of the fog, and Raiga's extremely dependant on him. If we can seperate them we should be able to win."

"How do you know that?" Kiba and Kankuro asked together. Kate just glanced at them. "Oh, yeah, right..." Kiba sighed.

Temari summoned Kamatari, "Ok! Let's go"

Raiga narrowly avoided Kamatari's scythe, only to have it come around from behind, slashing the straps that attached the pack to Raiga's back.

"Ranmaru!" Raiga hollered, trying to race after the package.

"Oh no you don't!" Kiba shouted, rushing toward him. Akamaru growled, running along behind him.

"Get out of my way!" Raiga screamed, shooting a blast of electricity in Kiba's direction.

"Kiba! Look out!" Kate yelled, pushing Kiba to the side. BZZT!!! Kate was struck with the full force of Raiga's lightning.

"Kate!!!" Kiba exclaimed. Akamaru yipped in concern, licking Kate's arm.

"Ranmaru! It's okay, I'm here!" Raiga cried, almost making it back to his fallen friend. FWSH! He was cut off by a ninja puppet.

"Damn it!" Raiga fumed, aiming one of his swords at Karasu, Kankuro's puppet.

"Kurohigi Kiki Ippatsu!" Kankuro grinned. Raiga fought against the puppets onslaught, still desperately trying to get back to the package laying on the floor, "Ranmaru!"

"STOP IT!!!" a voice shouted from the container.

Kankuro paused in surprise, giving Raiga the time to get out of the puppets way and finally make it back to Ranmaru.

"Ranmaru!" he said in releif, pulling the boy from the pack.

"Raiga," the boy murmured as he was hoisted onto Raiga's back.

"Shit!" Kankuro said in annoyance, pulling back his puppets.

"Daikamaitachi no Jutsu!" Temari yelled, releasing a whirlwind from her fan.

"Raiga, watch out," Ranmaru mumbled. Raiga nimbly sidestepped the attack, then shot a lightning beam toward Temari. It was intercepted by a blockade of beetles.

Shino frowned, joining the fray. Things were certainly not going as planned.

"Ha!" Raiga laughed, "You think you can beat me!? How pathetic. Ranmaru, do you think they even deserve a funeral?"

"No," Ranmaru mumbled softly.

Raiga began to laugh again, then doubled over as someone punched him in the stomach.

"Katon: Karyu Endan!" Kate shouted, shooting a stream of flame from her mouth.

"Gaah!!!" Raiga hollered as he was sent flying back into a cliff.

"Raiga!" Ranmaru yelled, as he fell from Raiga's back.

A huge pile of rocks fell from the cliffs above.

"Raiga!!!" Ranmaru cried out as the stones crushed his comrade.

Kate breathed heavily for a moment, before slumping down.

"You ok?" Kankuro asked as the fog began to clear.

"Yeah I'm fine," Kate sighed.

"That was awesome!" Kiba exclaimed, smiling down at Kate.

"You're very fast," Temari agreed.

Shino walked over to Ranmaru, then picked him up.

"Let me go!" Ranmaru cried, "Just leave me here. Without Raiga I have no reason to live."

"That's not an option," Shino replied, then turned back to the others, "We'd better return to the village. There should be some more of his henchman to deal with, plus we need to tell the villagers the good news."

Kiba helped Kate up, then nodded, "Alright, let's go then."

Karashi, the son of the curry of life lady, stared down in shock at the ninja team. _How could they have defeated Raiga?_ he wondered. _Shit, I have to go tell the others. They won't get away with this!_


	14. Chapter 14

Naruto for Dummies

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

**Chapter 14**

"We're almost to the finish line!" Sakura exclaimed, "It shouldn't be that much longer now!!!"

"Unh," Sasuke agreed.

"Yes!" Valerie smirked. Their mission was almost finished.

"Thank you so much for helping me, " Idate, their client, said softly.

"No problem!" Naruto squealed happily.

"Stop right there!" someone suddenly called out.

"Huh!?" Naruto shouted.

"My name's Aoi Rokusho," the enemy ninja proclaimed, "and I am going to-"

"Fire Release: Intense Pain!" Valerie shouted, blasting Aoi with a stream of fire.

"Ugh!" Aoi shrieked, being sent flying backwards.

"Like hell I'm waiting for you to finish talking!" Valerie declared.

"Hmph," Sakura tut-tutted, "that's not the ninja way, Valerie." _Cha! That was amazing! _Inner Sakura hollered.

"Grr," Aoi huffed, "I'll kick your ass!"

Aoi activated his sword and made a swing at Valerie.

"Sharingan!" Sasuke yelled.

"Watch out!" Sakura screamed.

"Valerie!" Naruto hollered.

"Eek!" Valerie yelled in surprise, trying to get out of Aoi's way.

"Chidori!" Sasuke shouted, jumping in front of Valerie and attacking the opponent.

Sasuke's blast connected with Aoi's sword, but only succeeded in creating a tiny chip before back firing.

"Gaah!" Sasuke screamed, then fell to the ground unconscious.

"Sasuke!" Naruto, Sakura, and Valerie yelled in unison.

"Hyah!" Aoi exclaimed, turning around and kicking out at Sakura.

"Guh!" Sakura coughed, as she was knocked to the ground.

"Sakura!" Naruto cried out.

"Take this!" Aoi laughed, lashing out at Sakura and Sasuke and sending them both flying over the edge of a cliff.

"You bastard!" Naruto yelled.

"NO!" Valerie exclaimed, jumping after them.

Valerie had to think fast, she was falling quickly. She reached out and grabbed ahold of Sasuke by the waist.

She needed to get a grip on Sakura too, but if she used both her hands she wouldn't be able to hold on to the cliff face.

_Think, think_ Valerie thought desperately. She could see the rocks rising up to meet her at an ever faster pace.

"Kage Bunshin No Jutsu!" she said at last. Valerie's clone grabbed onto Sakura and pulled her against the cliff wall. Both Valerie's used their extra hands and their feet to slow their descent and position themselves so that they fell onto a nearby ledge.

Poof! Valerie's clone disappeared after gently placing Sakura on the ridge.

"Oomph!" Valerie exhaled, dropping down alongside and releasing Sasuke.

_That was close_ Valerie thought. She looked around, there didn't seem to be anyway of getting back up.

_Shit_, _I hope Naruto can take care of that guy by himself_ Valerie sighed.

---

"Puh-Please don't hurt me!" Karashi begged amongst a heap of defeated villains.

"How pitiful," Temari frowned, getting ready to hit him with her fan.

"We can't attack someone who's given up," Shino sighed, "He's no threat to us anyways."

"Screw that," Kankuro shook his head, "He's the one that chose to ally himself with these morons."

"So, we should just nuke him then?" Kiba teased.

Kankuro grimaced, they were never going to let him live that one down were they?

Kate glared, "No, Kankuro's right, he's just faking giving up so we'll leave him alone. Then he plans on causing trouble for us later on."

"You mean, you agree with me!" Kankuro exclaimed happily, and blushed.

_Oh good God_ Kate sweat dropped. Kiba narrowed his eyes at him.

"Hah!" Temari shouted knocking Karashi unconscious, "Problem solved."

"You're pretty scary…" Kiba sweat dropped.

"So… Mission accomplished?" Kankuro asked.

"Looks like it…" Shino stated, "We should head back now."

"That wasn't as hard as I'd thought it would be," Kiba admitted.

"What are we going to do with these two?" Temari pointed to Ranmaru and Karashi.

"We can just leave them at that curry ladies place," Kate pointed out.

"Ok," Kiba nodded, "Sounds good. Let's go then."


	15. Chapter 15

Naruto for Dummies

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

**Chapter 15**

"We're back!" Naruto declared happily.

"Naruto!" Chelsea said excitedly, turning around. She had just been on her way to Ichiraku Ramen.

Naruto grinned, "Hey want to go get something to eat together?"

"Oh…" Chelsea said in surprise, "Ok!"

---

Sakura sat by Sasuke's side in the hospital. He'd seemed so out of it ever since their mission. She couldn't quite understand why either. They'd been totally successful! Naruto had defeated Aoi and Idate had won the race. What more could Sasuke want?

"Hey Temari!" Shikamaru smiled, glancing at the blonde girl with pigtails.

"Hey Shikamaru, I see you're a chunnin now…" Temari smirked, walking over the the brunette pony tailed boy.

Shikamaru sat up from his spot, lying in his favorite field.

"When are you going back?" Shikamaru asked.

Temari grimaced, then smiled, "Why? So anxious to get rid of us?"

"No," Shikamaru blushed, "that's not what I meant…"

"Well," Temari sighed, "we SHOULD be able to leave NOW… But SOMEBODY had to get in a fight…"

"Gaara?" Shikamaru said worriedly.

"No," Temari replied, "Kankuro."

"Kankuro!?" Shikamaru said in shock, "With WHO?"

"I don't know, never seen her around here before. She must be a new genin."

Other than Dee, Shikamaru didn't know much about the four new ninja. He tried to think of who might pick a fight with Kankuro though. Kate seemed to be the most likely.

"Did she have short brown hair, green glasses, and a slight British accent?" Shikamaru asked.

"Well, no, actually," Temari answered, "She had frizzy black hair, kind of medium length. She was rather on the tall side, but not EXTREMELY so, and she definitely wasn't wearing glasses."

"Wait," Shikamaru gawked, "Dee!?"

"Uh… Sure…?" Temari frowned.

Shikamaru couldn't believe it, "Where?"

"Um, that way…" Temari pointed. Shikamaru raced off. _Wonder what that was all about. _Temari stared after him, puzzled. _What's this 'Dee' girl to Shika?_ Temari glowered, then decided to follow after Shikamaru.

---

Dee panted. She'd been training hard against Neji and Hinata, even Tenten had practiced with her some, and she'd been hoping her abilities had improved some, but Kankuro was such a tough opponent.

Kankuro breathed heavily from his hiding place behind a tree. He'd been shocked when this girl had come up to him and asked him to spar. She'd looked like a total push over, so he hadn't been so enthusiastic, but she was proving to be a very capable fighter.

Dee sighed, she wanted to get better, but this fight was dragging on for SO long! She was getting annoyed… _I guess I'll have to use my new technique… What a pain…_ Dee pulled out a scroll and bit her thumb. She wiped the blood across the characters and a whole arsenal of shuriken poofed into existence. Dee focused the chakra at her fingertips, creating chakra threads that she forced out to connect with the weapons.

_What is she doing?_ Kankuro thought.

"Hyah!" Dee exclaimed swinging the shuriken around behind her, then using the body flicker technique.

_Shit!_ Kankuro thought, redirecting his puppet to try and meet her halfway.

Trying to keep her hold on the weapons, Dee redirected some of her chakra into her right foot and lashed out at Karasu, Kankuro's puppet, as she passed.

Upon sending Karaus flying, Dee increased her speed, catching Kankuro in his spot behind the tree before he could try and move.

"Kuroari!" Kankuro shouted, placing his second puppet between himself and the girl.

Shikamaru, closely followed by Temari, landed in a tree not far from the fight.

"Wow," Temari whispered, "I'm surprised that girl's managed to make it this long!"

"Shh…" Shikamaru murmured. He didn't say it but he was impressed too. The taijutsu she was using now was at a very high level, and how had she managed to get around Kankuro's first puppet?

Dee snickered then swung her shuriken at high speeds at the puppet, aiming for the joints. Kuroari faltered, falling apart.

"Damn it!" Kankuro breathed.

"Hah!" Dee shouted, pulling the shuriken in between her fingers and swinging them toward Kankuro's throat.

Kankuro shut his eyes in anticipation. Temari and Shikamaru held their breath.

Kankuro slowly opened his eyes. The shuriken were hovering in the air, suspended just before the major vein in his neck.

"Give up?" Dee asked, grinning.

_Unreal _Kankuro thought, "Yeah, you win."

_No way!_ Temari thought _She's so powerful!?_

_She's as scary as my mom!_ Shikamaru sweat dropped.

Dee dropped the weapons, then sat down in exhaustion.

"Hey," Kankuro sighed, "how about a rematch sometime?"

"Huh?" Dee questioned, "Uh… If we have to…"

"Good!" Kankuro beamed, "I'll definitely kick your ass next time!"

Dee sweat dropped, then picked herself up, "Hey Shikamaru, mind if I crash at your house for a while?"

Temari and Shikamaru jumped. "How did you know I was here?" Shikamaru asked.

"I sensed your chakra," Dee replied, matter-of-factly, "Ready to go?"

_But_ Temari thought _hardly ANYONE can do that!_

_I take it back_ Shikamaru sighed _she's SCARIER than my mom. _"Yeah, sure… I think my mom's making Udon for dinner."

"Sounds good," Dee smiled.

"Come on Kankuro, let's go find Gaara and head back," Temari rolled her eyes, jumping down next to her brother.

"Ok," Kankuro agreed.

Kankuro and Temari left, jumping from tree to tree.

"You know, Temari," Kankuro began.

"Yeah?" Temari asked.

"That girls kind of hot!"

Temari sweat dropped, "That's what you said about that 'Kate' girl…"

"I know," Kankuro grinned, blushing slightly, "they're BOTH hot!"

"Ugh," Temari groaned. But deep down she was fuming. She didn't know why, but Dee made her SO mad! She wasn't… JEALOUS was she? Of course not! That was RIDICULOUS! What was there to be jealous of!?


	16. Chapter 16

Naruto for Dummies

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

**Chapter 16**

"Valerie right?" a cold voice asked from behind Valerie. She jumped, nearly dropping the food she'd just bought for Sasuke, "Uh… Yeah?" She turned around.

Gaara awkwardly before her, "Do you know where Naruto or Lee are?"

"Um… No?" Valerie replied.

"Oh…" Gaara looked disappointed.

"Actually," Valerie considered, "I think I DO know where we could find Naruto at least…"

"Could you take me there?" Gaara asked.

"Sure!" Valerie answered and headed toward Ichiraku Ramen.

---

"I'm going to go visit Sasuke at the hospital now," Naruto said cheerfully to Chelsea.

"Oh, alright," Chelsea smiled.

Naruto grinned sheepishly, walking out of the store, then glanced back, "Uh… Chelsea?"

"Yeah, Naruto?" Chelsea answered.

"Um… There's something I want to tell you…"

"Really," Chelsea asked obliviously, "What?"

Naruto blushed, "Uh… Well… I... I'll tell you later… How about I meet you here tomorrow for lunch… I promise I'll tell you then!!!"

Chelsea blushed too, "Um… Ok, Naruto. I'll see you then."

"Good!" Naruto grinned, "Oh, but Chelsea…"

"Yeah, Naruto?"

"I'll treat since it's our first date," Naruto winked, then walked away.

Chelsea stood there staring after him for a while, then flushed bright red, "A date…"

---

"Hey Valerie! Gaara…?" Kate called out, noticing Valerie walking by.

"Oh? Hey Kate! Kiba?" Valerie responded.

"Hey," Kiba nodded, looking a little warily at Gaara.

"We were just going for a walk," Kate grinned, "He was going to introduce me to his family later… What are you doing with Gaara?"

"Oh yeah!" Valerie remembered, "Have you seen Naruto or Lee?"

"Um," Kate thought, "Oh yeah! I see Lee earlier over at the Hyuuga Mansion. I think he's still there..."

"Why are you looking for Lee and Naruto anyways?" Kiba asked Gaara.

"I wanted to… apologize to Lee… and thank Naruto for-" Gaara trailed off.

"Gaara!" Temari called, waving her arms in the air.

Everyone glanced in the two siblings' direction.

"Where were you?" Kankuro asked, then glanced over at Kate and Kiba in annoyance.

Gaara didn't answer. "We were looking everywhere for you!" Temari scolded.

"Hey, Kate!" Kankuro beamed.

"Hey… Kankuro…" Kate replied unenthusiastically.

"Ready to go?" Temari asked Gaara.

"I guess," Gaara answered.

"Hey, see you around," Kankuro smiled at Kate, then winked.

Kiba narrowed his eyes. _Oh God, why me? _Kate shuddered.

Valerie looked back in forth from Kate to Kankuro in confusion.

"Valerie!!!" someone shouted, running in their direction.

"Huh?"

"Valerie," Sakura panted, "Come quick! It's Sasuke and Naruto! They just… started fighting! I can't make them stop! I'm afraid they're going to get hurt." Sakura started crying.

"Gaara, why don't you go back with Kankuro and Temari. Kate, Kiba, try and find Kakashi-sensei. Sakura, let's go," Valerie said seriously. Everyone heeder her words, heading off as they had been told.

_Damn it, _Valerie thought, _Please let me make it in time!_


	17. Chapter 17

Naruto for Dummies

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

**Chapter 17**

"Tsunade!!!" Kiba shouted bursting into Tsunade's office with Kate trailing just behind him.

"Where's Kakashi???" Kate added.

"Wha?" Tsunade began.

"Not 'wha?'!" Kiba yelled, "Where is he!?"

"Excuse me!" Tsunade said angrly.

"WHERE IS HE!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" Kate shouted, flames shooting from her eyes.

Tsunade sweat dropped, "Uh… On a mission… Why!?"

"Damn it!" Kiba declared, "Come on, Kate, let's go!"

"Wait!!!" Tsunade yelled, but it was too late, they were already gone.

:"Ugh," Tsunade sighed, "I hate my job…"

---

"Rasengan!" Naruto hollered.

"Chidori!" Sasuke shouted.

"Stop it!!!" Sakura cried, running in between them.

"Damn, I can't stop," Naruto realized, afraid he might hit Sakura.

Wham!!! Valerie grabbed both their arms sending Naruto flying into a water tower and shoving Sasuke's hand into the ground.

"Valerie?" Sasuke asked in surprise.

"Sasuke," Valerie replied, "we need to talk…"

Sakura continued to cry, both relieved that Valerie had stopped the fight and confused and upset that it had even taken place in the first place.

"Sakura?" Naruto said quietly, picking himself back up, "I'm sorry…"

Valerie and Sasuke body flickered out of the area, popping up atop a tree not too far away.

"Sasuke, this has to end," Valerie said softly, staring down at him.

Sasuke leaned back against the tree and closed his eyes. That 'rasengan' Naruto had used, he could tell it had been more powerful than his chidori. If Valerie hadn't stopped them he would have lost. Why was Naruto always so much better than him? Why was he, Sasuke, so weak?

Valerie frowned, she knew exactly what he was thinking, "Sasuke… You're wrong!"

Sasuke glanced up at her in surprise. Valerie continued, "You're not weak Sasuke, and Naruto isn't better than you. Why do you think he works so hard? It's because you're his idol and he wants to be stronger, like you! He looks up to you, and the reason he agreed to fight you is because he wanted you to acknowledge him as an equal and a friend!"

Sasuke lowered his eyes, he knew she was right. Valerie wasn't done yet though, "Sasuke, I know you lost your family, and you've been lonely for a really long time. But there are people that really care about you! Almost anyone in this village would die to protect you, you're precious to us! I know that vengeance means a lot to you. And I understand that very well. If someone killed my family, I KNOW I'd want vengeance too. But the path you've chosen is a dangerous road and will be painful for everyone. By going after Itachi, you're just doing exactly what he wants. You're allowing Itachi to win! I'm not going to tell you to give up on revenge. I'm just telling you that you should be careful what decision you make…" She sighed, then turned away, "I'm here for you Sasuke, if you ever want to talk… Just let me know… You know where to find me…" She jumped down from the tree and then set off.

Sasuke continued to sit exactly where he was. She was so right… But, sometimes the truth was hard to take…

---

"GWAH!!!" Orochimaru screamed.

"Orochimaru?" Kabuto asked in concern.

"It's time," Orochimaru panted, "Send the Sound Four."

"Now?" Kabuto asked, "But I'm not sure Sasuke's ready…"

"No," Orochimaru spat, "Send them now. In a short mater of time, Sasuke WILL be ours!!!"


	18. Chapter 18

Naruto for Dummies

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

**Chapter 18**

_Damn it!_ Sasuke thought as Sakon, a member of Orochimaru's Sound Four punched him once again.

"Why are you so weak?" Sakon asked, flinging him against a wall.

"Sharin-" Sasuke began.

"It's pathetic really," Kidomaru added punching Sasuke in the stomach.

"It's because he stays in a place like this," Tayuya smirked, "he's just wasting away his talents in this pitiful village. Playing around with the other little kids while everyone in the real world quickly surpasses him… How sad…"

"Guh!" Sasuke gasped, as he was kicked into the air by Jirobo.

Sasuke slumped down against a wall. He was getting the shit beat out of him, and there was nothing he could do. His curse mark swelled up, engulfing him.

Sakon laughed, "You think you can beat us now, just cause of that thing!?" The Sound Four activated their own curse marks.

_Shit!_ Sasuke thought as he continued to get pounded.

---

"Sakura?" Naruto asked questioningly.

"Naruto, I'm worried about Sasuke," Sakura said sadly, "I'm afraid he might… Do something he'll regret later… What if he leaves!?"

"Don't worry," Naruto grinned, "Sasuke would never do something like that. Don't worry about it!"

Sakura wasn't so sure, "Naruto… Would you like to… Go do something with me or something?"

Naruto frowned, "Um… I guess…"

Sakura was surprised, she'd thought Naruto would be excited about the idea of possibly going on a date with her.

"Sakura," Naruto sighed, "you like Sasuke better than me right?"

"What?" Sakura said.

"It's true right."

"Well, I-" Sakura began.

"It's ok," Naruto smiled sadly, "I'm not upset about it… I think Sasuke likes you some too. And Lee…"

Sakura glared at him…

"Well," Naruto sweat dropped, "He does!"

Sakura sighed, "Look… I get it, Naruto… Thanks… I just… Don't you have a feeling that something bad's going to happen?"

Naruto shook his head, "Not really…"

"I'm just-" Sakura lowered her eyes, "Never mind…"

"Hey, why don't you go hang out with Ino?" Naruto offered.

"Huh?"

"You two seem to be getting along better recently… It might be nice to hang out with her…"

Sakura seriously considered that possibility, "I guess I could… Ok… I think I will… See you, Naruto!"

"See ya!" Naruto waved.

---

"How'd it go?" Kate asked Valerie as they slurped their ramen.

Valerie thought about it for a while, "I hope it went well… I think it did… I'm not sure though, he didn't say much…"

"He probably just needs some time to think," Kate concluded.

"Well, at any rate, how did meeting the Inuzuka family go?" Valerie asked.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Dee smiled, sitting down next to them at the Ichiraku Ramen store.

Chelsea followed in after her, "What's up?"

"I'll tell you later," Kate winked at Valerie.

"Hmm?" Chelsea asked.

"Oh, you'd BETTER!" Valerie declared.

"I definitely DON'T want to know," Dee rolled her eyes.

Chelsea smiled, "Oh yeah, did I tell you yet?"

"What?" the other three said in unison.

"Naruto asked me out on a date!"

"No way!" Kate grinned.

"You lucky girl," Valerie smiled.

"I knew he would eventually," Dee smirked.

"Hey, I'd like to close up soon," the shop owner stated, a little annoyed.

"Don't worry, we won't be here much longer," Dee assured him.

---

Shikamaru yawned, he was SO tired.

"Mom… Why'd you have to go and wake me up at 6 in the freaking morning?"

Shikamaru's mom glared at him, "Tsunade wants to see you."

"Now?"

"Yes, now!!!" she yelled, "GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS AND GO OVER THERE!!!"

"Unh…" Shikamaru sighed. It was best to do as she said.

---

"What!?" Shikamaru hollered, "Sasuke's LEFT!"

"Well," Tsunade corrected, "It was more like he was taken by force… Anyways, I need you to get as many genin together as you can in the next half an hour and go after him."

"What a drag," Shikamaru sighed, "That's not very much time… And I don't really like Sasuke, but I guess I have no choice… Do I HAVE to take Naruto though?"

"Yes," Tsuande nodded, "you do… Now time's ticking… You better hurry up and put your team together!"


	19. Chapter 19

Naruto for Dummies

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

**Chapter 19**

Shikamaru's group was ALREADY getting on his nerves… So far he'd recruited Naruoto as asked, then Choji, and Kiba had joined up on his own, Kate in tow.

He walked toward the main gates, desperately hoping SOMEONE else would show up… He wished the sand siblings hadn't already left…

---

"Tsunade?" Chelsea asked, stepping into Tsunade's office.

"Hmm… What do you want?" Tsunade replied, her mind on other things.

"I'd like to become a medical ninja…." Chelsea stated.

"What!?" Tsunade asked in surprise, paying attention now.

"I'd like you to train me to become a medical ninja," Chelsea repeated.

Tsunade stared at her, "Um… Why?"

Chelsea looked at the floor, "I can tell I'm just not keeping up with the other genin… Especially Dee, Kate, and Valerie… I'd like to be useful at something…"

"Medical skills are a rare talent and take lots of hard work," Tsunade replied, "Are you sure you're up to the challenge?"

"I'm positive," Chelsea answered.

"I would like to as well," someone else added.

Tsunade glanced around Chelsea and noticed Sakura standing in her doorway.

"I'm always falling behind Sasuke and Naruto," Sakura said. Her face was stained with tears, but she looked more sure of herself than ever before, "I don't want to let my team down anymore. I want to be good at something, for when Sasuke comes back!"

"Me too," another voice echoed.

Ino appeared beside Sakura, looking equally sure of herself, "I also want to become a medical ninja."

"You're all sure?" Tsunade asked, bewildered.

"Absolutely," all three girls said in unision.

Tsunade smiled, "Well then… What are we waiting for?"

---

Dee yawned. She hadn't gotten ANY sleep last night…

"Huh?" she murmured, noticing the group of ninjas going by.

"Dee!" Shikamaru said happily, relieved to have found another person to add to his team.

"Hey Shika…" Dee mumbled sleepily.

"DEEEE!!!" Kate squealed, "Join our group! We're trying to rescue Sasuke!"

"But I don't like Sasuke," Dee yawned again.

"But we need you!" Naruto pointed out.

"Ugh…" Dee tripped.

"Neji," Shikamaru added, noticing Neji walking by, "You should join up with us too."

Neji frowned, "Uchiha, hmm?"

Shikamaru turned back to Dee, "Please come with us. We really do need your help."

Dee thought about it. She was SO tired though. She just hadn't been able to sleep last night. She'd been getting these weird bad vibes… "I'm tired…" Dee complained.

"If you don't come with us," Kate grinned evilly, "Temari'll just have to take care of Tayuya for you…"

Dee's eyebrows went up at this one.

Naruto, Kiba, Neji, and Choji looked puzzled. Shikamaru looked from Kate to Dee, "What are you talking about?"

"Ok… Fine… I'm in…" Dee sighed.

"I think I'll go with you too," Neji also agreed.

"Great, we have a team!" Shikamaru said.

"Then let's get going!" Naruto declared. There was no time to wait!

"Wait," Shikamaru rained on Naruto's parade, "We need to come up with a strategic formation."

"Who died and made you in charge?" Naruto whined.

"The HOKAGE put me in charge," Shikamaru reminded him, "Anyways I already have an idea.

"Kiba, I'm putting you in front, and Kate I'm putting you with him. I'll be second in line. Naruto, you're in the middle. Choji, you're next. Then in the rear I want Neji and Dee. This should be optimal both in battle situations and in making sure we don't get ambushed. Everybody got it?"

"Got it!" everyone said in unison.

"Good, then let's go."

---

"I can't believe Sasuke left!" Valerie yelled, "And that they left ME behind!!!"

Tsunade rubbed her temple in irritation.

"Look, it wasn't my decision," Tsunade complained.

"BUT THEY LEFT ME!" Valerie hollered.

"Listen," Tsunade sighed, "I'm planning on sending Lee and maybe the sand siblings later on, if they're not back within 24 hours. If that's the case, I'll send you too. How's that?"

"Ok, I guess," Valerie pouted. _Kate, Dee, how COULD you!? _she thought.

(a/n: special note for Valerie when u read this… please DON'T kill me! i'm going to have u show up later on in the arc, i PROMISE. ure one of the KEY characters in this part of the plotline, so don't worry about it, ok?)


	20. Chapter 20

Naruto for Dummies

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

**Chapter 20**

"I can see them up ahead! We've almost caught up to them!" Neji exclaimed.

Dee yawned again, she was SO tired…

Kiba glanced back at Shikamaru, "Should we try and surprise attack them, or just follow them for now?"

Shikamaru thought for a moment, "We might as well try and ambush them while we still can…"

"Wait… Something's wrong…" Kate frowned.

"What are you talking about?" Naruto looked ahead toward her, "Everything's fine."

"No," Dee agreed, trying to focus on something other than her lack of sleep, "Kate's right, something's definitely wrong."

"You got that right!" Kidomaru laughed, appearing out of nowhere.

"Shit," Shikamaru breathed, moving out of his way.

Jirobo, Sakon, and Tayuya soon fell in around Kidomaru, bearing down on the seven Konoha ninja.

Jirobo held on to a wooden basket covered in seals that apparently held Sasuke. He chucked the container to Tayuya, who caught it angrily.

"Jirobo, what are you doing?"

"It shouldn't take all of us to take care of this trash. You three go on ahead. I'll deal with them."

"I guess you're right," Tayuya agreed, "Alright, catch up to us when you're done."

"Will do," Jirobo grunted.

"Um," Kate interrupted, sweat dropping, "we're still here and we just heard everything you said…"

"Then you know I'm your first, and last, opponent!" Jirobo hollered launching a fist toward Kate.

Kate ducked out of the way, then lauched a kick toward his face, but missed. Jirobo lashed out at the seven ninja, but there were just too many of them. At last he managed to herd them into a cluster of sort.

"Ha! Got you!" he teased, "Doton Kekkai: Dorōdōmu!"

A dome of self-repairing rock surrounded them, trapping them inside.

"Damn it!" Kiba complained, "Gatsūga!" Kiba and Akamaru both spun at hight speeds and attempted to break through the walls.

Shikamaru couldn't believe. How could they have been so stupid!? How did they fall for this?

"Rasengan!" Naruto attempted uselessly.

"Byakugan!" Neji stated, trying to look through the rock.

"Hahaha! It's useless" Jirobo laughed as he sucked chakra from the ninjas, "You really are just a bunch of trash! I guess you can blame you're stupid, incompetent captain though. It's his fault you're all going to die!"

"We need to get out of here A.S.A.P." Kiba said desperately.

"Duh," Kate agreed, "any ideas as to how?"

Dee leaned back against the wall of the stone prison, falling asleep. The loss of chakra hadn't really been good for her sleep deprivation.

"I can get us out of here…" Choji said softly.

"Choji?" Shikamaru glanced at him.

"With my Multi-Size Technique… I think I can break through the rock."

"Then do it!" Nartuo exclaimed.

Choji glanced at the others, "After I get us out of here… Why don't I take him on alone. He's holding us up for too long, if we all stay here the other three will get away with Sasuke."

:"Are you sure?" Naruto asked skeptically.

"Ok," Shikamaru nodded, "it's a plan. We'll leave signs for you as we go, so you can catch up to us later."

"Alright," Choji smiled, "Baika no Jutsu!!!" The stone walls crumbled around Choji's mass.

"Ok everyone," Shikamaru exclaimed, "Let's go!"


	21. Chapter 21

Naruto for Dummies

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

**Chapter 21**

"Was it really ok to leave Choji all alone back there?" Naruto asked as they jumped from tree to tree, occasionally leaving arrows for Choji to follow.

"Maybe we shouldn't leave signs like this either," Kiba pointed out, "if Choji looses, it will just make it easier for that Jirobo guy to follow us."

"Choji won't lose," Shikamaru responded immediately, "He said he'd take care of him, so he will. No matter what! I believe in him." Shikamaru really was convinced Choji would win, but at what cost? _Please don't die Choji_, Shikamaru thought to himself.

Kate and Dee exchanged looks, but there was nothing they could do.

"We're gaining on them pretty quickly," Neji pointed out, "Do we have a plan for when we overtake them?"

"Why don't I try pretending to be Jirobo, and infiltrate their group," Shikamaru decided, "then if and when they figure me out, you all can come in and attack them."

"Fine by me!" Naruto agreed.

---

The attack hadn't exactly gone according to plan. Tayuya and Sakon had continued on with Sasuke, leaving them to fight Kidomaru.

"We're wasting time again," Neji frowned, as they desperately dodged Kidomaru's attacks, "You five should continue on ahead, I'll finish off this guy."

"Are you sure?" Shikamaru asked.

"Yes," Neji replied.

"Wait," Dee interrupted, "why don't I stay too?" She knew what would happen if Neji fought alone.

"No," Neji stated, "I'm fine on my own. Don't worry about me."

Dee sighed, _Why are boys so stupid?_

"Alright, I'm leaving it to you," Shikamaru nodded, "Dee, Kate, Kiba, Naruto, let's go."

---

Night had fallen over the forest several hours ago, and the ninja were pulling ever closer to the border of the fire nation.

"I think we should just attack now," Naruto piped up.

"No," Shikamaru disagreed, "It's too dangerous trying to fight in the dark. And without any sunlight, I can't use my Shadow Possession Jutsu"

"But there's five of us," Kate pointed out, "and only two of them."

"Yeah, but we're going to have to completely kill them both, if we hope to succeed," Dee added, "And that's going to be really hard to do if we can't see. It'd be a whole other story if we still had Neji's byakugan…"

"What about Akaamaru and my sense of smell?" Kiba interrupted.

"Even with that," Shikamaru sighed, "It's just too risky."

"But the longer we wait to attack, the closer they get to the border," Kate said in annoyance, "and once they've made it past there it's going to be nearly impossible."

"I know," Shikamaru grunted, "I just don't know what else to do. And we don't have that much longer to wait."

---

Kimimaro pulled himself from his bed, yanking off the cords an IVs that were normally attached to him.

So Orochimaru had chosen this Uchiha boy as his next body. Unfortunately, those incompetent fools were taking too long, and Kabuto had told him that Orochimaru had been forced to choose a different body in the mean time.

Kimimaro narrowed his eyes. He had once been a member of the Sound Five, and Orochimaru's future container… Until he had taken ill… But the least he could do was make sure that the next vessel successfully made it's way to his veloved master, Orochimaru…

---

By sunrise, the ninja were only a few miles from the border, but had nearly caught up with the remaining members of the Sound Four.

"They're right on our tail," Sakon said, glancing at Tayuya.

"We're going to have to deal with them soon," Tayuya agreed.

"There's a crevice coming up," Sakon smirked, "What do you say I drop a couple of them down there?"

"Go for it," Tayuya agreed.

---

"They're still not back yet?" Tsunade wondered to herself.

"Do you want me to send for the sand siblings?" Shizune asked.

Tsunade thought about it for a moment, then gave in, "Alright, and tell Lee and Valerie that they can go now…"

"Yes ma'am," Shizune agreed, hurrying to carry out her orders.

---

_Damn it!_ Kiba thought, as he, Kate, and Akamaru fought against Sakon. They hadn't expected the four to go on the offensive

He and Kate had set up an elaborate scheme of explosive tags, which Sakon hadn't noticed and was stuck right in the middle of.

"Alright Akamaru… NOW!" Kiba shouted as Akamaru set off the first of the explosive tags.

"Shit!" Sakon gulped, then noticed his opening, "Hyah!"

He threw a wire, w a weight on each end toward Akamaru, trapping the dog against a tree branch, only inches away from an exploding tag that was about to go off.

"Akamaru!" Kiba shouted, running to his dogs' aid.

"Kiba, watch out!" Kate yelled jumping after him.

BOOM!!! The tag went off sending Kiba, Kate, Akamaru, and Sakon flying into the nearby crevice.

---

Naruto, Shikamaru, and Dee continued to pursue Tayuya, who was carrying the basket containing Sasuke.

_Damn_, Tayuya thought, _how did this mission go so wrong? _Tayuya stopped, placing the basket beside her and preparing to fight the remaining three. WSH! A pale, whitish figure jumped over her and grabbed a hold of the basket.

"Tayuya, you've failed again I see?" the figure said monotonously.

"Kimimaro! What are you doing here? I thought you couldn't move!" Tayuya exclaimed.

"Who the hell are you?" Naruto hollered.

"Damn," Shikamaru mumbled, "I didn't work this guy into my calculations."

Dee grimaced, she'd been hoping to avoid this guy.

"Tayuya, you've failed Orochimaru for the last time," Kimimaro stated, "I'll take the vessel back, and you can deal with this trash, but when you get back I will kill you. Mark my word."

Tayuya gulped, "Kimimar-" But he had already started off.

"Wait, get back here!" Naruto shouted, attempting to pursue him.

"Oh no you don't!" Tayuya began.

"Naruto! You go after him. Dee and I will fight her," Shikamaru yelled after him, as Dee intercepted Tayuya's attack.

"Damn you!" Tayuya exclaimed, pulling away.

Dee jumped back alongside Shikamaru. She wasn't sleepy anymore. She was DEFINITELY going to kick this bitch's ass!!!


	22. Chapter 22

Naruto for Dummies

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

**Chapter 22**

(A/N: Ok… Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been grounded from the internet for about a week…)

Kate crouched behind a rock, fiddling through her pouch for some sort of weapon. Unfortunately, most of her stuff had fallen out when she'd got knocked down here. _Great, _she thought sarcastically, _I have ONE kunai…_

"Damn it! I know you're around here somewhere!" Sakon exclaimed, "You can't hide forever!"

Kiba sat hidden behind another nearby boulder, along with Akamaru. Panting, he glanced over at her and smiled slightly. The situation seemed fairly hopeless, but at least they were facing it together. _On the count of three_, Kiba mouthed, _let's attack together._

Kate nodded. _One… Two… Three…_

---

Naruto raced ahead. _Damn it, Sasuke, _he thought, _I won't let them take you!_

Kimimaro came to a stop in a vast, empty field, then turned back to face Naruto.

"Kage bunshin no Jutsu!" Naruto hollered.

Kimimaro frowned at the many clones, "It doesn't matter how much trash there is… Trash is still trash and must be disposed of…" He then dropped the container holding Sasuke and pulled one of his pointed bones from his body. "Hmph," he breathed, emotionlessly, and began to strike the clones down, one by one…

---

Tayuya grabbed her flute and began to play. Four humongous, strange creatures appeared and began to attack Shikamaru and Dee. Both skillfully dodged the attacks, but neither could anywhere near close enough to Tayuya to attack her.

Shikamaru frowned, he didn't know much about sound based attacks and what they could do. He didn't like being in a combat situation without some sort of strategy.

"Have you come up with a plan?" Dee called to Shikamaru hopefully.

Shikamaru moved out of the way of one of the strikes, thinking about it. "We have to destroy her flute," he replied, "She can't attack without it…"

"Well, duh!" Dee said rolling her eyes, then thought about it, "Watch out, Shika… She can cast genjutsus with that thing too…"

"Shika?" Shikamaru questioned in slight annoyance.

Dee grinned hopping out of the way of another attack, "Saying 'Shikamaru' was tme…"

"What's 'tme' mean?" Shikamaru asked in confusion, side stepping one of the enemies' blows.

Dee sighed, "It's short for 'too much effort' cause 'too much effort' is too much effort to say…"

Shikamaru stared at her, and sweat dropped… _Wow, _he thought, _she might just be even lazier than me… _

"Hey look out!" Dee suddenly shouted.

Shikamaru jumped at the last minute, narrowly avoiding a hit by a giant club, _Damn, _he thought, _this is really troublesome…_

---

Kate and Kiba both launched their attacks. Sakon grabbed Kate's arms, stopping the attack, and an extra foot appeared from Sakon's back, kicking Kiba in the shin.

"What the hell!" Kiba exclaimed, jumping backwards.

"Be careful," Kate called over to him, trying to free her arms, "that other head isn't a fake! There's two of them!"

"Hmph… Clever girl, hmm?" Sakon laughed, bending Kate's arm and cracking a finger.

"Uhn," Kate breathed in pain.

Kiba pulled himself back up, "Kate!" Akamaru jumped out from behind him, biting down hard on Sakon's wrist.

"Gaah!" he yelped, releasing Kate and trying to shake his arm free. Kate used her good hand to punch Sakon in the face, sending him flying.

"Are you okay?" Kiba asked in conern.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Kate replied, peeved that she'd dropped her guard like that.

---

_It's too hard trying to keep track of both of them at once, _Tayuya thought, _I need to try getting rid of at least one of them… But how?_

Dee pivoted, falling in beside Shikamaru. The two were surrounded by Tayuya's odd, flute-controlled figures.

_I wonder if the sand siblings are going to come to help us out this time, _Dee thought to herself. She could kind of use the assistance, but at the same time she really didn't want Temari to rush in and save the day. She wanted to take care of this one herself… She yawned, _God damn it… Now is SO not the time…_

Tayuya suddenly smirked, coming up with a plan. The music changed and the largest of the creatures swung it's club down, forcing the two to move away from each other.

"Dee, look out!" Shikamaru called.

Dee turned seeing two other figures rushing up behind her. It all became suddenly obvious, Tayuya had separated them so she could try taking one of them out to make the fight easier. Determining that Shikamaru was the greater threat of the twosome, she was planning to use these creature to strike Dee down so she could focus all her attention on him. With two coming at once, it would be hard to dodge the attack.

"Ha, like I'd fall for that," Dee laughed confidently, pulling out a kunai and attaching a chakra string to it. Sending it flying up around a tree branch she quickly swung by the chakra strand, out of harms way.

_**BAM!!!**_ Dee smacked head first into the tree's trunk. She'd been too focused on her attackers and hadn't been paying enough attention to her surroundings.

"You idiot… Are you okay!?" Shikamaru called out, sweat dropping at the same time.

_Well… Now I feel really dumb…, _Dee thought in embarrassment as blood trickled down from her forehead and her chakra string dissolved.

"DEE!!!" Shikamaru cried out, a little more alarmed.

Her vision began to fade as she fell toward the ground, and then everything turned black.

_Wow, that was easier than I thought it would be!_ Tayuya thought in amusement.

Shikamaru's swerved out of the way of another one of the monster's strikes, _You troublesome girl…, _he thought in exasperation, but also deep concern. "You're going to pay for that," he said at last, turning to face Tayuya.

"I highly doubt that," she snickered in return.

---

Naruto panted, overwhelmed. He kept making more clones and attempting to do his rasengan, but Kimimaru always destroyed them all before he could do much of anything. On top of that, Sasuke's container had begun to rattle some. Up till now, it had seemed like Sasuke was unconscious or something…

"This looks like the end for you, trash," Kimimaru stated, blankly.

Naruto gulped, he was using up chakra too quickly. Kimimaro wielded his bone like sword, whirling in to strike at Naruto. As Naruto moved out of the way, the basket burst open, seals falling to the ground, and Sasuke stepped forth.

"Sasuke!" Naruto shouted, in both happiness and surprise.

Sasuke turned to look at him, his eyes expressionless. Then, he turned and began to run off in the opposite direction.

"Wait, Sasuke!" Naruto called after him in confusion.

"Hmph… Orochimaru will have his new container, and there is NOTHING you can do about it, trash!" Kimimaru explained, attempting to stab Naruto in the stomach.

"Hyah!" Lee yelled, kicking Kimimaru's arm aside.

"Lee!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Hmph," Kimimaru frowned.

"My God! Wait up!!!" Valerie panted, popping up behind them.

"Valerie!" Naruto turned, and smiled.

Valerie rolled her eyes, then returned the smile, "Hey… Where's Sasuke?" _Damn… That Kimimaru's SO hot, _Valerie thought to herself, _No! Bad Valerie! You must focus!!! Oh… I hope I'm not too late…_

Naruto lowered his eyes, "He… Left…" Valerie looked at him sadly, _Sasuke…_

"You two go on after him!" Lee declared, taking on a fighting stance, "I will take care of this guy."

"Are you sure?" Naruto asked.

"Absolutely," Lee affirmed.

"Well… What are we waiting for? Let's go!" Valerie exclaimed with relief.

"Ok…" Naruto agreed rushing off after Sasuke, "I owe you one Lee."

"Yeah, thanks!" Valerie added, quickly following Naruto.

"Don't mention it," Lee replied.

Kimimaru turned to follow after them, but was knocked back by Lee.

"I will not let you pursue them," he said gallantly, "You're opponent is me!!!"

(A/N: Happy birthday, Valerie! YEAH!!! I hope you're happy I worked you back into the story! Now, you better update YOUR fan fic soon, or else! )


	23. Chapter 23

Naruto for Dummies

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

**Chapter 23**

(A/N: Ok, Kate… You can stop poking me now… I'm updating sweat drop)

"WAAAH!!!" Orochimaru cried out in pain.

"Master Orochimaru…?" Kabuto, Orochimaru's freaky gay lover (A/N: sorry… jk… lol) said worriedly.

"The Uchiha…," Orochimaru wheezed, "I need his body!" (A/N: totally not a sexual innuendo… lol… sorry, I'll stop soon…)

"Master," Kabuto stated, "you're situation seems quite dire. I believe you may have to settle for another body…"

"NOO!!!" Orochimaru shouted, "I must have Sasuke!" (A/N: snicker, snicker Whoops! Sorry, about that…)

Kabuto frowned, "I don't believe you will make it till then. I will go find another."

Orochimaru coughed up some blood, then wiped it away from his mouth with the back of his hand, "Damn you, Sarutobi… Damn you to HELL!!!"

**Meanwhile in "Dead People World"**

_**ACHOO!!!**_ The third Hokage sneezed. _Hmm… Some sexy lady must be talking about me somewhere…_

---

"Urk," Kiba gasped as he and Akamaru went flying backwards into a rock.

"Kiba… You okay?" Kate asked as she aimed a shuriken at Sakon.

"Yeah," Kiba said, picking himself back up.

Kate jumped backwards, landing beside him, "This is getting us nowhere… And I want to beat him before they can split up and take us on one-on-one…"

"Well two-on-one in me and Akamaru's case…" Kiba winked, "But you're right… I actually have a jutsu I'd like to use… It leaves me pretty much entirely out of chakra… But with you around that shouldn't be as much of a problem…"

Kate thought about it for a moment. She knew what he was talking about… And she knew it could deal some damage… But in the anime it had left him open for Ukon to assimilate into his body, and cause him a lot of damage… She definitely didn't want to see that happen, "I'm not sure you should, Kiba… That guy's brother, the one on his back… He can enter other people's bodies too… If you get that close to him… He could really hurt you…"

"Don't worry about me," Kiba smiled kindly, "This is pretty much the only shot we got, right? I'll just try to be careful…"

Kate looked at him worriedly, but she knew there was no changing his mind, yet, "Kiba… I swear if you let him hurt you I will PULVERISE YOU!!!"

"Uh…" Kiba sweat dropped, "Ok, then…" He then looked at Akamaru in determination, "Alright Akamaru, let's do this."

"Arf, arf!" Akamaru jumped up, peeing on Sakon and his brother.

"Argh!" the two shouted, "How dare you! You filthy mutt!!!"

"Gatsuga!" Kiba yelled. He and Akamaru turned into a giant, two-headed dog-beast. They then began to spin extremely fast, then went flying at Sakon and Ukon.

"WAAAHH!" the brothers screamed as they were flung threw the air.

"Wow," Kate murmured in admiration, "That's SO cool close up!"

---

Shikamaru sighed in desperation. Nothing was working. He just couldn't get close enough to Tayuya, and without Dee, he had to face all four of her monsters at once. Besides that, he was worried about her too… She'd hit her head fairly hard, and fallen pretty far… He was concerned since she hadn't came to and gotten back up yet, but he couldn't get away from these losers long enough to go find her.

Suddenly, the attacks seemed to die down, and the music changed. Shikamaru glanced in Tayuya's direction, _What's she doing now?_

The creatures were attacking him one at a time. It was easier to dodge than before. Shikamaru was certain she was getting ready to do some sort of special attack. He had to try getting her before she made her move; now might be his best chance!

He began to move more swiftly, making it look like he was trying to get closer to Dee, when really he was just attempting to get behind Tayuya, _Almost there!_

Suddenly, Shikamaru realized he'd stopped moving. _What!?_ he thought in confusion. The forest dissolved into a blood-red battle zone. Pins stuck up everywhere, trapping him. _What the hell?_ he thought. He glanced to his right, and to his shock saw his arm begin to turn into mush, his eyes widened in shock

"Heh heh heh," Tayuya laughed, taking her lips from her flute, "It seems I've caught you now."

_Oh shit, _Shikamaru realized, _I'm trapped in her genjutsu!!! _"Ugh," he winced, real or not, he could feel himself melting away. A swift burning pain, _It's not real… It's not real…_ It was no use. _I have to focus. I have to break loose from her jutsu!_

Tayuya grinned, pulling out a kunai knife, "This is the end for you." She swung back and then aimed straight for his heart.

_**FWAM!**_ A powerful kick sent Tayuya flying.

"You moron. I leave you alone for all of 5 minutes and look at the mess you get yourself into!" Dee shook her head in mock annoyance. She grabbed Shikamaru's hand in hers and forced her chakra to dispel the genjutsu.

Shikamaru blinked, "Dee?"

"Who else?" Dee smirked.

Shikamaru glanced over at where Tayuya lay in a heap, clenching her stomach, where Dee had kicked her. "I think you scare me more than my mom sometimes…" he admitted.

"I'll take that as a compliment! Oh, and you can stop holding my hand now…," Dee answered.

"Oh… Right…" Shikamaru blushed.

"Damn you!" Tayuya winced, standing back up.

"Ok…" Dee sighed, looking over at her, "You're REALLY starting to annoy me. This battle is taking WAY to long and is WAY tme!!!"

Shikamaru stared at her for a moment, then smiled slightly. _Thanks, Dee… I owe you…_

---

Valerie and Naruto ran as fast as they could, trying to catch up to Sasuke. _Why is he running away from us like this?_ Naruto thought. _Wow… He's really fast! _Valerie decided, _I wish I could run like that!_

Sasuke sat looking out over a waterfall, waiting for them to catch up. He looked down at his hands. He could feel a strong new power had been awakened inside of him, but he had mixed feelings. Part of him wanted to go to Orochimaru, to become stronger, and to focus solely on revenge… Forgetting Konoha and Team 7… But, as he'd ran, he'd also heard Valerie's voice, and that had made him think a little harder. There was another part of him that wanted to stay. To train with Kakashi, Naruto, and Sakura. To fight for Konoha, and by doing so, against all that Itachi stood for. And to be with Valerie… A girl he'd only met not too long ago, but now seemed to mean more to him than he could describe… He didn't know why, but he truly liked her. Now, it was time for him choose which way he would go.


	24. Chapter 24

Naruto for Dummies

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

**Chapter 24**

(A/N: Okay Kate… I'm updating… You'll survive… lol)

"Tsunade-sama!" Shizune yelled, bursting into Tsunade's office.

"Oh, hi, Shizune," Chelsea said, glancing up from the large fish she had been trying to heal, and smiling.

"What's wrong?" Sakura asked.

"Where is Tsunade!?" Shizune said urgently.

"Um," Ino thought, "Out, why???"

"Never mind," Shizune replied, beginning to close the door so she could go look for her.

"It's not Naruto, is it?" Chelsea asked in concern.

Shizune stopped, and considered for a moment, "We haven't heard any word on Naruto at this time."

"But, it's not their team, is it?" Sakura asked, worried now. Shizune looked down at the floor.

"Oh my God!!!" Ino shouted in alarm, "What happened!!! Who is it!?"

Shizune looked away, "Ino, why don't you come with me for a moment…"

Ino's eyes widened. She followed Shizune out of the room. After the door closed, Sakura and Chelsea ran to it, trying to hear what was said in the hallway. There was a moment of silence and then they head Ino scream, "Not Chouji!!!"

---

Kiba stumbled slightly after splitting up with Akamaru. He turned and looked at Kate and flashed her a thumbs up before turning to look at Sakon and Ukon.

"Heh," he panted, "looks like it worked Akamaru… What!?" The enemy laying on the ground… There was only one…!?

_Oh, God no! _"Kiba!!!" Kate gasped.

"Heh heh heh," Ukon laughed, his head twisting from Kiba's shoulder, "I wouldn't be so sure of that!"

"Woof!!!" Akamaru barked, trying to run to his master.

"Not so fast!" Sakon picked himself up and lunged at the dog.

"Get the hell out of my way!" Kate growled knocking Sakon aside.

Ukon glowered at her, then chuckled, "It's no use. You can't separate me now!!! I have completely assimilated with his body! If you hit me you hurt him, and I can do whatever I please. For instance if I wanted to I could attack all his nerve cells at once!"

"GAAAHHH!!!" Kiba cried out in pain, doubling over. Ukon laughed hysterically.

"You bastard!!!" Kate shouted, gathering chakra in her right palm.

Ukon laughed harder, "Give it up. It's useless!!!"

"We'll see," Kate's eyes flashed, "Jutsu sho!!!"

"Wha-???" Ukon gasped as Kate punched him out of Kiba's body.

"Brother!!!" Sakon cried out, running to his fallen comrade.

"Kiba!" Kate said pleadingly, helping to pick him back up. "Arf, arf!!!" Akamaru barked worriedly.

Kiba coughed up blood, then wiped it away with the back of his hand. "Where… Did you learn to do something like that!?!"

Kate forced a smile, "I'll tell you later."

"You'll pay for that, you little bitch!" Ukon snarled, standing back up, and then slumping back over.

"Ukon!?" Sakon said, leaning down next to him.

"It seems I've used up to much chakra…" Ukon said in surprise, "I'll have to go back to resting. I'll leave you to take care of this trash for me."

Kiba and Kate watched as the two merged. "Kate, that must have taken a lot of chakra," Kiba said glancing over at her, "And I'm all out too…"

"I know," Kate said softly, "We're kind of screwed, aren't we?"

"Yip, yip" Akamaru agreed.

"Hey," Kiba smiled lightly, "thanks for helping me out back there…"

"No problem," Kate said tiredly. She had no idea what she was going to do now.

"You know," Kiba added, "I'm kind of glad that, since we're both going to die… At least we'll be going down together…"

"Woof!" Akamaru chimed in, licking Kate's leg.

"Yeah," Kate smiled hopelessly as Sakon began to advance on them. Kiba and her were both about ready to collapse, "Me too…"

Sakon aimed a powerful punch towards the two of them. Kate and Kiba clenched there eyes in anticipation, Akamaru jumping up to try and take some of the blow…

_**BAM!!!**_ Kate opened an eye. A puppet stood between her and Sakon's attack.

"What the…!?" Sakon gaped.

"Hey Kate, Kiba…" Kankuro grinned, popping up beside her, "Sorry I'm late."

"Never thought I'd say this, but I am REALLY glad to see you," Kiba responded.

Kankuro looked at the two of them, "Wow… You guys sure are a mess, huh?"

Kate smiled at him in relief, sagging slightly, "Thanks, Kankuro…"

"Hey," Kankuro winked, "anything for a cute girl!"

Kate sweat dropped and rolled her eyes, while Kiba narrowed his eyes at him.

"Grrr… So, you want to be first to get killed, huh?" Sakon sneered, taking a step back

Kankuro smirked at him, "I'd love to see you try."


	25. Chapter 25

Naruto for Dummies

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

**Chapter 25**

(A/N: Yeah! The arc's almost over!!! But not the entire story, so don't worry… Oh! That rhymed!)

_Oh you've GOT to be kidding me! _Deethought as she began to fall for the SECOND time in one fight. It happened so fast… Tayuya using her stupid freaking… whatever the hell those monstery things were!

_Oh God, not again, _Shikamaru thought turning around in horror as Dee was knocked from a tree limb by a humongous club.

_**Wump!**_ Dee felt someone grab her arm, and then she stopped falling.

"Quite the klutz, aren't you?" Temari looked down at her, smirking.

_Oh great..., _Dee sighed, "Yeah… Not really having the best day to be quite honest."

"Temari!?" Shikamaru said in surprise.

"Hey Shikamaru," Temari smiled, hoisting Dee back up, "Get behind me."

"Huh?" Shikamaru asked in confusion.

"Who the hell are you?" Tayuya glared.

"I'm serious, get behind me now," Temari said annoyedly.

Shikamaru realized what she meant and quickly jumped back.

Temari grinned wickedly, "Sorry hon, but today is NOT your day. Daikamaitachi no Jutsu!!!"

_Oh holy shit! _And that was the last thing Tayuya would EVER think to herself…

"How was that?" Temari turned around and smiled obnoxiously at Shikamaru.

"Uh… I'm scared…" he replied, staring at what was once Tayuya.

"You're scared?" Dee sweat dropped, "I'm TERRIFIED!!!"

Temari's grin broadened.

---

"Sasuke!" Naruto hollered.

Sasuke glanced down from his perch at Naruto and Valerie.

"Sasuke," Naruto said smiling in confusion, "We came to rescue you!"

Valerie frowned up at him, but wasn't sure just what to say.

_**Fwip…**_ Sasuke jumped down, landing not very far from them, "Valerie…"

"Hmm?"

"You should get out of here."

Valerie and Naruto's eyes widened. "But, Sasuke we can go back now…" Naruto said, trying to remain happy, "Everybody's worried about you…"

"I said 'go'!" Sasuke repeated, looking only at Valerie.

"Sasuke-" Naruto began again.

"Naruto, shut up!" Sasuke interrupted, eyes blazing.

_**SMACK!!!**_

Sasuke blinked, _Valerie just… Slapped me?_

"I'm not going anywhere," Valerie stated coolly, "And neither are you."

Naruto stared in awe. "Valerie…!?" Sasuke said in shock.

"You MORON!!!" she shouted, "What the hell is your problem!!! Do you KNOW how hard everyone's worked to save you! Naruto, me, Lee, Neji, Shikamaru, Dee, Kate, Choji, Kiba, even the SAND SIBLINGS, they've all been fighting to near death just to rescue YOU!!!"

Naruto looked at her, "Wait the sand team's here? How do you know?"

Sasuke stared at her, "I-"

"I am NOT finished," Valerie yelled, "Sasuke, how could you leave like that??? Do you know how much you hurt Naruto and Sakura? Do you… Know how much you hurt me?" Her voice softened slightly, "Sasuke, you don't have to be alone anymore…"

Sasuke looked down at her in surprise as she began to cry.

"Sasuke," Naruto said frowning at him, "you're the best friend I have… I've, never had a family… And I don't know quite what it's like to lose one… But sometimes, when I'm around you, I wonder if that's what it's like to have a brother…? I… Why would you walk away like that?"

"Naruto…" Sasuke began, his eyes and voice had softened tremendously, "I… I can feel it slipping away… Itachi… training with you guys… I'll never be strong enough to beat him like that…"

"So by following in his foot steps… You think THAT will help you beat him!?" Valerie snapped.

"That's not-"

"Valerie's right," Naruto looked straight into Sasuke's eyes, "Sasuke… I know what it's like to be lonely. And I know I would want to get back at the person who made me that way, if I were you. I'm not asking you to forgive Itachi, or even to forget about him. I'm not telling you to forget that he betrayed you or to just let that go. But I am asking you to realize that there are people that care about you now, more than you might no. Think of all we've been through… Our fight with Haku and Zubuza, the chunnin exams… I will always stand by your side, Sasuke, so don't try to push me away."

"Sasuke," Valerie finished, wiping the tears from her eyes, "Please don't go. I… I want to be with you Sasuke. Please, don't leave me! …I LOVE YOU!!!"

Sasuke's eyes widened greatly, and Naruto stared at her in surprise. Valerie closed her eyes, awaiting Sasuke's reply. She suddenly felt two arms wrap around her waist and pull her close.

"I'm sorry, Valerie," Sasuke whispered, "And… I love you too."


	26. Chapter 26

Naruto for Dummies

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

**Chapter 26**

"Kankuro!!!" Temari called out, jumping off her fan as she arrived near her brother.

Kankuro turned around, "Hey Temari, just finished up here…"

Kate and Kiba stared as blood oozed out of the tiny cracks in Kankuro's puppet. Kiba shuddered slightly, before getting up and offering Kate his hand.

"Kate!!!" Dee shouted, running over to greet her.

"DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Kate responded running over too.

"I was worried when you fell off that cliff!" Dee exclaimed.

"Hey, Dee!" Kankuro added, grinning at her.

"Oh… Hey, Kankuro…" she looked at his puppets, too, "Ew… That's gross…"

Kankuro sighed, "Yeah… I guess it is a little…"

Temari rolled her eyes, "Well you're definitely not bringing those things on my fan unless you clean them up first!"

"Awe… Come on! That takes too much time!" Kankuro whined.

"I mean it!" Temari growled.

"Hey, Shikamaru," Kiba sighed.

"Hey…" Shikamaru anwered, looking rather downcast.

"Hey, Shikamaru… What's wrong?"

He glanced at him, "It's just… Neji… and… Chouji… they never caught up to us…"

"You don't think they-!" Kiba began.

Shikamaru looked down for a moment, then turned back, "No. I refuse to believe that."

Kiba looked back at Kate and Dee, "You know… I probably would have died without Kate being around… And then it ended up being Kankuro who saved both of us… I hate to say it, but maybe we underestimated these guys a bit…"

Shikamaru turned away again. "I think… No, you ARE right… I… I failed… As a leader…"

"I didn't mean-" Kiba began.

"Kiba!!!" Kate called, jumping onto Temari's fan, "Get on! We're heading out to go find Gaara!"

"Shikamaru, you too!" Temari added.

Kiba looked back at Shikamaru then said quietly, "Come on, let's go. We can talk on the way."

---

"Tsunade-sama!" Kakashi stated, walking rigidly toward her and Jiraiya.

She turned back to face him, stopping the conversation she had previously been engaged in, "Awe… Kakashi. I see you got back from your mission early."

"I heard what's happened," Kakashi narrowed his eye, "I would like permission to go after Sasuke. He is MY student… I am responsible for him."

Jiraiya looked at him, "We've already sent a team of shinobi to go after him. Even the sand village has lent us it's aid. I don't think that's necessary."

Kakashi could not hold back any longer, "Lord Hokage! You can't possibly think those genin are enough! They're facing Orochimaru's special assistants! These are all jounin class ninja or higher!"

Tsunade frowned, "I am aware of that Kakashi. However, I believe I've made the best choice possible. YOU and the other jounin were not here when Sasuke left. What else could I have done?"

"I know," Kakashi sighed, "but… Now that I've returned, I would like to go after him myself."

"Actually, you may just get your chance," Jiraiya stated seriously.

Tsunade sighed, "Jiraiya was just telling me he's heard some very… disturbing information… It's in regards to the Akatsuki."

"What!?" Kakashi questioned in confusion.

"TSUNADE!!!" Shizune yelled, running to catch up.

Tsunade looked over at her, "What is it?"

"It's…" Shizune began, out of breath, "two of the genin we sent to find Sasuke… they're badly injured… we've taken them to the hospital… it's Neji and Choji… Their remaining teammates, Tenten and Ino have been notified, as well as their senseis. But… both are in bad condition! They need urgent medical care!"

Tsunade dropped her eyes, "Shizune… I'll be there as soon as I can… just hold on for a minute longer…"

"Kakashi."

"Yes?"

"I want you, Might Guy, Asuma, Kurenai, and the remaining genin; Chelsea, Sakura, Hinata, and Shino to leave immediately. As I was saying, I have recently received information that the Akatsuki are attempting to use this opportunity to make their next move. Naruto, Gaara, and possibly Sasuke and the others are all in grave danger. You're mission is to get to them as fast as possible and ensure the safety of all shinobi involved."

"Tsunade!?" Shizune gasped in surprise.

Kakashi gaped for a moment, then nodded in understanding, "Yes, Lord Hokage, I understand. I will go now."

The three watched him disappear out of sight.

"Alright, Shizune, let's go… Oh, and Jiraiya… What are you planning to do about this?"

Jiraiya sighed, "I'm not sure… With so many ninja, I don't know if my involvement is necessary, yet…"

Tsunade nodded, "Do what you must…," then hurried away.

---

Sasuke stood, holding Valerie for a moment longer. Naruto watched, slightly dumbfounded, off to the side.

"I hate to break up this touching moment," a gruff voice chuckled, "but we have some business to attend to with your short little friend…"

"Kyuubi Naruto…," a softer voice added.

Sasuke's eyes widened, he released Valerie, and turned around.

"Itachi…!?" he stated hatefully.

Itachi glanced at him, "Hmm… I still have no business with you… little brother."

"How... What are you doing here?" Naruto stared.

"Itachi?" Valerie asked in confusion, "But… You're not supposed to- Why?"

Itachi looked over at her, "You again…? How bothersome…"

"Do you mind if I kill her this time?" Kisame grinned fiendishly.

Itachi looked on, blankly, "Be my guest."


	27. Chapter 27

Naruto for Dummies

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

**Chapter 27**

Gaara sat down beside a tree, surveying the massive amount of bones pointing up from the Earth around him. Lee plopped down too, almost equally exhausted.

"Wow," Lee smiled at him, "that was pretty close, huh?"

Gaara didn't bother to look up, "He was the same as Naruto…"

"Huh???" Lee asked, surprised.

"Hmph. Looks like we found him," a deep, threatening voice declared.

"Just like you said, un," a blonde-haired man added.

"Who… Who are you!?" Lee stared. Gaara turned to look as well.

"Oh… Sorry, guess I should introduce myself, un," the blonde-haired man smiled, "I'm Deidara, and this here is my partner Sasori." Sasori grunted.

"Those robes…," Gaara said emotionlessly, "You work for the Akatsuki?"

"Oh! So you've heard of us, un?" Deidara said cheerfully.

"Enough talk," Sasori growled, "I'm getting impatient."

"Eh-heh… Sorry, un… We'll make things sweet and simple. We're here for the Shukaku, un."

Lee frowned and got up, "Gaara…" _They couldn't have come at a worse time! _he thought, _Gaara's completely out of chakra, and I doubt I can beat both of them at once, if they're really Akatsuki members. I guess… I have to try my best at the very least! _"Gaara! I will face them myself. Go see if you can find the others."

Gaara narrowed his eyes and stood up as well, "Don't be stupid. You won't last 10 seconds."

"But, I-"

"No," Gaara stated, "they're only after me. You should leave."

"Hmph," Sasori snarled, "doesn't matter who stays or goes. You're both going to die, now stop making me wait."

Deidara smirked, "Heh… This will be over soon enough, Sasori, un. Actually, I could probably take care of this myself, un."

Sasori glowered, "Fine. Suit yourself."

---

"I'm… getting a bad vibe…," Temari said, turning to look at Kankuro, "How about you?"

"Huh?" Kankuro glanced over at her too, "Not really…"

"You… don't feel like something really bads about to happen?"

"Gaara?" Kankuro asked, a little worriedly.

"What's the matter?" Shikamaru asked, looking at Temari.

"I… It's probably nothing," Temari sighed.

Dee and Kate exchanged looks. "Maybe we should hurry up a little…" Kate suggested.

"Well… Maybe…"

Kate frowned, then whispered to Dee, "You don't think… Maybe Gaara's fight with Kimimaro turned out differently or something this time… I mean, he only one by the tiniest bit in the show…"

Dee thought about it for a moment, "I don't think so. I mean, he showed up about the same time as in the anime, and I think he was just about as sick, so he should last the same amount of time in a fight."

"But," Kate continued, "in Shippuden when Temari gets a bad omen like that, it that Gaara was in serious trouble."

"I don't think she's actually psychic or anything, though," Dee disagreed, "And how do you know it's necessarily about Gaara this time? Maybe Naruto, Sasuke, or Valerie are in trouble."

"Or maybe they weren't able to get Sasuke back," Kiba interrupted.

Dee and Kate stared at him. "You heard us?" Kate asked.

"Well, Dee at least… She's pretty loud…"

"Actually, I could hear her too… I think everyone could," Shikamaru added.

"I get that a lot," Dee sweat dropped.

Kankuro sighed, "Well, at any rate, I think it's best to play it safe. Let's assume that something urgently bad happened, and pick up the pace."

"Alright," Temari agreed, "let's go then!" The group began to move much faster, accelerating toward Gaara. _Please, let me be wrong... _Temari thought.

---

Kisame stepped forward, brandishing his sword and smiling.

"Touch her, and you're dead," Sasuke snapped, jumping between her and his sword.

Kisame grinned, "Do you mind if I kill him, too?"

Itachi narrowed his eyes, "Get out of the way, Sasuke."

"Make me!" Sasuke snarled.

Itachi began to move forward, menacingly.

"Don't you dare touch either of them!" Naruto yelled, rushing forward.

Valerie ran up after him, grabbing his arm, "Naruto, stop! He's after YOU! Stay behind us."

"But-"

"Hyah!" Kisame shouted, swinging his sword down.

"Idiots, get out of the way!" Sasuke hollered, rushing up and shoving them aside.

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. Valerie and Naruto were flung backwards, hitting the ground as they stared in horror.

"Sasuke!" Naruto yelled.

"NOO!!!" Valerie shouted.

The sword came crashing down, hitting Sasuke hard. He crumpled under it's weight, being tossed aside.

"SASUKE!!!!!" Naruto screamed, getting back up and attempting to run to his friend.

"You're next," Kisame laughed maniacally, smacking Naruto across the head with and sending him flying.

"Foolish brother," Itachi said blankly, "You're still not good enough…"

"Shut UP!!!" Valerie shrieked. Itachi hadn't been paying attention to her, and was taken off guard as she popped up in front of him. "Shishi Rendan!!!!!"

Valerie kicked him into the air, jumping up after him and delivering blow after blow. She then dropped back down, watching him fall towards the ground.

_**PFF!!!**_Itachi's shadow clone disappeared into a puff of smoke. _Damn it, _she thought.

"I see you've learned a thing or two since our last encounter," Itachi stated mildly, standing behind Valerie, "But you are still useless."

_Oh shit!!!_ Valerie thought hopelessly, _I am SO screwed…_


	28. Chapter 28

Naruto for Dummies

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

**Chapter 28**

(A/N: REALLY IMPORTANT!!! Just letting you know I will be in Spain on vacation from June 27th to July 15th, so I probably won't be updating that much, if at all, during that time…)

Lee lay on the ground, unable to move. Everything was slowly going out of focus. _Damn it…_

Deidara snickered, "That was almost too easy, un." One of his clay birds moved over to Gaara's unconscious body, picking it up in it's tail feathers.

"Let's go," Sasori snarled. The two turned and started to walk away.

"Huh?" Deidara suddenly questioned, stopping in his tracks.

"What's wrong?" Sasori asked, stopping as well. Then he noticed Deidara's shadow.

"Lee!?" Kiba questioned, leaning down.

"K- Kiba?" he answered, breathing heavily.

Kiba frowned, then he and Kate helped Lee up, putting his arms around their shoulders.

Deidara laughed mildly, "Well, I did say it seemed too easy, un."

"Put him down!" Kankuro hollered.

"Hmph," Sasori growled, turning around, "I don't have time to mess around with you."

Temari narrowed her eyes, "Kamaitachi no-"

"Don't!!!" Shikamaru yelled.

Dee grabbed her arm in midswing, "If you use that, you'll hit Gaara too."

"Sasori, I'm afraid I may have to leave you to take care of this, un," Deidara sighed.

Sasori glanced at him, "Fine, if I must." He turned back towards his opponents, "1… 2… 3… There's 6 of them… This shouldn't take more than 5 minutes."

Deidara grinned, "You hate waiting on people… So you shouldn't make ME wait too long, un."

"Yeah… yeah…" Sasori replied.

_**VWSH!!! **_A tail suddenly came out from Sasori back and launched itself toward Shikamaru.

_Shit, _he thought, releasing Deidara from his shadow jutsu and moving out of the way.

"Are you okay?" Temari asked.

"Yeah…" he replied, sighing in annoyance.

_**VWIP!**_ Dee threw one of her shuriken around Sasori's tail, yanking the chakra string toward herself like a lasso.

"Kate, Kiba…" Shikamaru said turning back to them.

"Huh?" they both said together.

"Get Lee out of here. Go back to the village and see if you can get help. We'll try and catch up to you as soon as possible."

"But-" Kate began.

"No, he's right. This isn't part of our mission, we need back up," Kiba frowned, "Yet… I'll take Lee back. Kate you should go on ahead and see what happened to Sasuke, Naruto, and Valerie."

Kate nodded, then looked over at Dee, "Hey, don't get yourself killed, okay? Or I swear I'll never forgive you!"

Dee stared at her, and then smiled, "Don't worry about… Dying's definitely tme…"

Kate raised her eyebrows then smirked. The two jumped away, running off in opposite directions.

"You little brat," Sasori snarled, trying to retract his tail.

Dee was already looking elsewhere, "Where did Deidara go?"

"Right here sweetie, un," Deidara smiled appearing beside her.

"What the-" Temari began.

"Dee watch out!" Shikamaru shouted.

_**Shwip! **_ Deidara jumped, as Kankuro's puppet aimed a blade straight for his head.

"Hmph, it's annoying fighting this many people at once, un," Deidara complained.

"Well, then let's eliminate a few," Sasori agreed, spinning his tail suddenly and dragging Dee along with it.

"Urk," she gasped as she was suddenly spun through the air, releasing her chakra string so that she could get free.

Meanwhile Deidara had moved backwards, constructing some clay explosives in his hand.

"Heh, you're not near anyone now," Temari smiled, "Kamaitachi no Jutsu!"

A large whirlwind appeared from her fan, aimed directly at Deidara.

"Too slow, un," Deidara snickered, easily sidestepping it.

"Dee!" Shikamaru shouted watching her fall near the clay bird holding Gaara.

Dee's eyes widened for a second, then she winked at apparently no one in particular. Gathering chakra in her foot she kicked as hard as she could into the bird's side.

_**BOOOM!!! **_The bird collapsed into a huge explosion.

"What the hell!?" Sasori gaped, shocked.

"Gaara!" Temari screamed in horror. Kankuro and Shikamaru both stared, confused and horrified.

---

Valerie clenched her eyes, expecting to get struck down.

"Chidori!!!"

Itachi moved back, as Sasuke went spinning past him.

"Sasuke!" Valerie gasped, turning around.

Sasuke panted slightly, blood streaming from his left arm where Kisame's sword had had the most direct hit. "I thought I told you," he said, looking furiously at Itachi, "You will NOT touch her!!!"


	29. Chapter 29

Naruto for Dummies

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

**Chapter 29**

(A/N: This will be my last post before I go to Spain for 15 days…)

Valerie and Sasuke stood back to back, each facing a different opponent.

"I'll take care of Itachi first," Sasuke told her, glowering, "You stall Kisame until I can help you out."

"I'll try," Valerie agreed, although it seemed totally hopeless.

"RASENGAN!!!"

Kisame turned just in time, "Woah! Almost got me!"

"Hey!" Naruto shouted angrily, "Don't count me out!!!"

"Naruto… You're ok!" Valerie exclaimed.

"Believe it!" Naruto grinned.

"Naruto," Sasuke glanced at him, "you help Valerie."

"Katon: Zukokku!!!" A massive stream of fire came out of nowhere, sweeping over Itachi.

_**POOF!**_ Another one of his clones disappeared. The real Itachi appeared beside Kisame, looking in the direction the flame originated from.

"Awe, come on," Kate panted, nearly out of breath as well as chakra, "What about me!?"

"How did you…?" Sasuke began.

"Hey, that was freaking sweet!!!" Naruto shouted, "Believe it!" 

"Kate!!!" Valerie hollered excitedly.

"Hey Val," Kate smirked, "I have a good idea. Naruto, Sasuke… You guys take on Itachi, while me and Val beat the living shit out of fish-face over here."

Valerie smiled too, "I like that plan, let's do it!"

---

The smoke from the explosion slowly cleared to reveal two small balls of sand, which immediately fell apart.

"Oomph," Dee exhaled, falling to the ground.

Gaara breathed heavily, barely holding himself up on one knee, "How did you know I was awake?"

"Huh," Deidara sighed, "Looks like he still had a little chakra left, un." Temari, Shikamaru, and Kankuro all breathed long sighs of relief.

Dee smiled, wiping dirt from her clothes, "I saw that you're eyes were open. I knew you didn't have any chakra left, but I hoped you could use the sand that moves around you naturally to shield us at least for a short period of time. It was a gamble, but I didn't see any other way of freeing you."

"That seems quite risky," Gaara breathed, still exhausted.

Dee nodded in agreement, "Yeah well… I'm really tired, and starting to get kind of desperate. I knew at the very least you'd be able to protect youself."

Sasori narrowed his eyes, "They just keep dragging it out longer and longer."

"Dee, watch out!" Kankuro shouted.

Sasori's tail whipped out lashing past Gaara and aimed straight at Dee's heart.

_**FWACK!!!**_ "Gah!!!"

"Shikamaru" Temari yelled. Dee, Kankuro, and Gaara stared.

"Never take your eyes from your opponent," Shikamaru coughed, pulling the poisoned metal from his abdomen, then collapsed.

"Futon: Tatsu no Oshigoto!" Temari cried out.

Sasori jumped, missing the attack and coming down next to Deidara.

"I'll KILL YOU!" Temari screamed, pulling her fan around.

"Shikamaru!?" Dee said at last.

"Yeah?"

"Why… Why did you do that?" Dee looked down at him, tears starting to escape from her eyes.

"Eh… Why not? It seemed like the thing to do," Shikamaru replied, coughing up blood.

"Idiot… You shouldn't have…" Dee clenched her eyes shut.

"Hey, don't tell me that… I think a 'thank you' would be more appreciated…" he trailed off, his eyes becoming blurry.

"Thank you…" Dee said, tear falling down on him.

He closed his eyes, falling unconscious.

"I'm sorry…" she continued, "And… I love you…"

"Aka Higi: Hyakki-" Sasori began, moving in on Kankuro

"Go to hell!!!" Dee screamed, coming out of nowhere and punching Sasori in the face.

"Guh…" Sasori wheezed, flying several yards away.

"Kage Buyō!!!!" Dee appeared directly below him while he was still airborne. Trapping him with chakra threads she spun him in midair and dove toward the ground.

"What was that!?" Temari stared.

Sasori slowly got back up, glaring at Dee. His mask had come off, showing that the opponent they had been fighting was nothing more than a puppet.

"You… You're not…!?" Kankuro gasped.

"You're Sasori in puppet form?" Dee asked, looking more furious than she had ever been before.

"Yeah," Sasori replied, "What of it…?"

"You're MINE!!!"


	30. Chapter 30

Naruto for Dummies

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

**Chapter 30**

(A/N: I'm back! )

"Kiba!!!" Hinata said in surprise, coming to a halt. The rest of her party stopped as well.

"Hinata, Shino, Kurenai-sensei!" Kiba shouted in relief.

"Who's that he's carrying?" Shino wondered aloud.

"I wonder what happened," Chelsea added.

"Wait, is that-" Sakura trailed off.

"Lee!" Gai-sensei exclaimed.

---

Kate jumped out of the way of a powerful swing of Kisame's sword.

"Suiton: Hahonryū!" Valerie shouted. A large amount of water made it's way toward her hand from the nearby river, spiraling rapidly in a manner similar to Naruto's rasengan.

"Hmph," Kisame jumped aside, "Like I'll let you hit me with something like that."

"Ha! Faked you out!" Kate laughed, "Fūton: Daitoppa!" A powerful explosion of wind shot from the Kate's open hand, knocking Kisame over and ripping apart the wrappings on his sword as well as slashing through his skin and clothes.

"Ugh," he gasped, attempting to get back up.

"Forgetting someone?" Valerie grinned shooting a blast of water at him at high speed.

Kisame gasped, flying backwards off the side of a cliff and down towards a huge lake below.

---

Sakura stared down at Lee, looking over his injuries.

"You can heal him, right!?" Gai asked desperately, leaning over her.

She thought for a moment, "You said some the AKATSUKI did this?"

Kiba nodded, "Yeah, they're after Gaara. The last I saw Kankuro, Dee, Shikamaru, and Temari were fighting them. We think Kate, Naruto, Valerie, and Sasuke might be battling some too."

"How many were there?" Kakashi asked seriously.

"Just two," Kiba replied, "but there may be more after Naruto."

"I don't really understand this whole Akatsuki thing," Shino stated plainly, "Could someone fill me in?"

"We'll talk as we go," Kurenai replied, "if things are like Kiba says they are, we need to get to them as fast as possible."

"How bad is it?" Gai asked in a patronizing manner.

Sakura sighed, "His chakra levels are highly depleted and he has a lot of broken bones. On top of all that, he seems to be filled with some sort of poison I've never seen before. I don't know the antidote for it so it will be next to impossible to treat it here. Somebody should take him back to the village and have him properly treated."

"I'll take him," Gai said seriously, "Lee is my student… MY responsibility…"

"Alright," Kakashi agreed, "you should go now. Fill Tsunade in when you see her."

Gai nodded, then picked up Lee, placing him over his shoulder, and ran off across the treetops in the direction of the Hidden Leaf Village.

"I wish we had some more medical ninjas," Asuma sighed, "we're going to be in for some trouble with a bunch of genin fighting the Akatsuki."

"Is anyone else injured that you know of?" Chelsea asked worriedly.

"Actually, Gaara was in pretty bad shape when I saw him last," Kiba affirmed.

Kakashi thought for a moment, "We should split up into two groups; one to go after Gaara's group and one to go after Naruto's group. Chelsea should go with one team, and Sakura with the other."

Kiba frowned, "I'm worried about Kate, so I'd like to go after Naruto's group, if that's ok with you?"

Kakashi nodded, "You can track them down by smell. I'd like Chelsea, Kurenai, and I to go with you. Sakura, Asuma, Shino, and Hinata can go after Gaara's group. Is everyone ok with that?"

Chelsea nodded, "Sounds good!"

Kurenai frowned, "Shino, you've fought Kankuro before. Will you be able to track him down now?"

"Of course."

"Then what are we waiting for!?" Kiba exclaimed, "We can't afford to just sit around and talk. Let's go!"

---

"Well that's inconvenient," Kate sighed looking down the side of the cliff.

"Should we follow him?" Valerie wondered.

Kate thought about it for a moment, "I suppose we should. I hardly think he's dead… And anyways that seemed a little TOO easy… I have my suspicions about something…"

"Really!?" Valerie asked in surprise, "What do you mean?"

"I think you'll see soon enough," Kate nodded, "But we need to get rid of him quickly so we can go help out Naruto and Sasuke with fighting Itachi."

Valerie agreed, "Alright, let's go… Um…" She looked over the edge, "How about you go first…"

Kate smirked, "Awe, come on. It's just a _tiny_ little drop! You're not… SCARED… are you?"

Valerie glared at her, "Of COURSE not!"

"Then why don't YOU go first?"

Valerie frowned, "I think YOU'RE scared! That's why you're trying to make ME go first!"

"Oh, will you both just shut up and go already!" Sasuke called, taking a momentary pause from his fight.

Valerie blushed, "Alright, alright…" She looked down one last time, "On the count of three?"

Kate nodded, "One… Two… Three…"

Valerie took a deep breath, then both girls jumped.

(A/N: Alright, so hopefully I will be finishing this story by the end of the month… And since it's getting sort of near the end I thought I'd ask all my readers for some input. I want to know who you all think should be with who… This can go for my OC's AND for the regular characters. I'm pretty much dead set on Chelsea with Naruto and Valerie with Sasuke, and I have some fairly good ideas of where everything else is going to go, but it's not too late for you to give me your ideas! Just leave them in your reviews, and try to give me some reasons. Thank you! )


	31. Chapter 31

Naruto for Dummies

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

**Chapter 31**

(A/N: Sorry the last chapter kind of sucked… Valerie forced me to write it when I was feeling especially lazy against my will…)

Deidara gasped for breath, hiding behind a tree. Things were NOT going as planned. He had been forced to fight Temari while Kankuro took care of Gaara and Shikamaru, and Temari was NOT particularly happy right now. Sasori was all tied up with fighting Dee, so he had next to know help at all. He winced, looking down at the pool of blood slowly growing beneath his feet. He'd lost both his arms, his only means of attack, to Temari, rendering him nearly helpless.

"I know you're around here somewhere!" Temari called angrily, swinging her fan in impatience.

_Shit, _Deidara thought. Sometimes he wondered if the Akatsuki leader sent Sasori and him on missions like this out of sheer spite. Itachi and Kisame were rarely ever sent into the line of fire personally, but more frequently were given the options of sending corpse substitutes instead. Life just wasn't fair sometimes.

---

Tenten sighed. She'd been sitting in the hospital waiting room for what seemed like forever, but there was still no word on Neji's condition. Ino had already gotten to go in and visit Chouji, and it had been confirmed that he was going to be ok with some help from the Nara family. She looked up at the ceiling, trying to keep the moisture from condensing in her eyes.

"Tenten?" a young woman's voice stated softly.

Tenten jumped, then turned to see Shizune.

"I have good news," Shizune said cheerfully, "It looks like Neji's going to be okay. It was a pretty difficult procedure and he's still unconscious and not in the best condition, but the worst is over. His family has already been allowed to go see him. You can visit when they're done, but don't take to long."

Tenten couldn't help but sob tears of relief. "Thank you," she managed to hiccup.

Shizune smiled down at her kindly, "I'll let you know when you can go see him."

---

Kankuro frowned, looking at Shikamaru's injury. "This looks really bad…"

Gaara glanced at him, "It doesn't look deep enough to be life threatening…"

Kankuro shook his head, "It's not that. It's this poison. Because of my puppets, I work with these kinds of things a lot, but I've never seen ANYTHING like this before! I don't know what you'd use for the antidote, or if there even IS one! Fortunately, it seems to be fairly slow spreading, but it looks like the kind that destroys muscle tissue…"

Gaara looked back over where Dee and Sasori were fighting. Ever since Shikamaru had been hit by Sasori's tail, Dee's movements had become twice as fast, and her attacks powered by almost three times as much force. Sasori was having a lot of trouble dealing with her.

"Damn, I'm sure glad I didn't get hit with this stuff," Kankuro continued, though Gaara wasn't really listening anymore.

---

"Suiton: Suijinheki!" Valerie shouted, using a wall of water to protect her from Kisame's gruesome blade.

"Suiton: Suiryūdan no Jutsu!" Kate hollered, creating a huge current of water in the form of a dragon and directing it at Kisame.

He glowered, narrowly dodging.

"It's a real pain trying to fight you both at once," he spat.

"Too bad," Valerie shot back at him, "Deal with it."

Kisame grinned, catching her fist and throwing her backwards. Kate caught her, shifting back slightly as well.

Kisame smirked, "Mizu Bunshin no Jutsu." A watery clone of Kisame appeared beside him and the two quickly launched themselves at Kate and Valerie. Kate's eyes widened, realizing what was about to happen.

"Suiro-" Kisame's clone began.

"Valerie, move now!" Kate commanded, shoving her to the side.

"No Jutsu!" the Kisame clone finished, trapping Kate in a nearly inescapable sphere of water.

"Kate!!!" Valerie shouted, picking herself back up.

"Much better," Kisame laughed, "Suiton: Suikōdan no Jutsu!"

Val gasped as a blast of water in the form of a shark ripped across her left arm.

"Damn it!" she proclaimed, surveying the damage. It was only bleeding, but the blood would make her easier to keep track of.

"Val!" Kate called, sounding muffled from her watery prison.

Valerie glanced over at her, holding her arm and trying to stop some of the flow of blood.

"Whatever you do don't let him knock you underwater, and don't try to touch his sword!"

Valerie nodded, "Thanks for the tip Kate, but I think I have it under control…"

Kate attempted to sigh, then coughed as some water entered her lungs. _I need to figure out a way out of here fast!_

---

Kiba raced ahead, Chelsea close behind with the two adults taking up the rear.

"I definitely have a lock on her scent now," Kiba proclaimed, smiling down at Akamaru who barked in reply.

"Are we getting close?" Chelsea asked in concern.

"We should be there in a few minutes," Kiba replied.

Kurenai glanced over at Kakashi, "Have you managed to pick up their scent as well?"

"Yeah," he replied, "and it appears that they're fighting with Itachi and Kisame."

Kurenai's eyes widened, "But… They don't stand a chance then!"

"That's not true!" Chelsea disagreed angrily, "I believe in them."

"I do too," Kiba agreed, "Don't underestimate them."

Kakashi nodded, "I've seen how those kids have been learning and growing as of late. Sasuke has always been quite the prodigy, and Naruto has never ceased to amaze me. As for Valerie and Kate, they have easily reached chunnin level skill or higher in a very short period of time, easily mastering the most challenging of moves and becoming stronger with every fight. I wouldn't count them out just yet."

Kurenai looked at him in surprise then sighed, "I must admit I've done some training with the girls myself. Valerie has a real knack for genjutsu and elemental ninjutsus, and Kate learns new techniques faster than anyone I've ever seen before. And no one can say that Naruto or Sasuke haven't developed into superb ninja. But Itachi and Kisame are highly elite and dangerous renegades. Their skill is unrivaled and their wickedness unparalleled. Not to mention, I'm sure all four of those children are starting to run rather low on chakra, whereas Kisame and Itachi have just BEGUN to fight."

"They don't have to win, necessarily," Kiba pointed out, "they just have to hold out till we can get to them."

"But they don't know that," Kurenai replied.

"I very much doubt that they're fighting the REAL Itachi or Kisame," Kakashi interrupted lightly.

"Huh?" Chelsea questioned in confusion, "What do you mean?"

"Those two don't like doing their own dirty work," Kakashi answered, "So they probably just sent out some cheap imitations, in which case they should have much more limited chakra, making them not quite so deadly."

Kurenai considered this, "You may have a point…"

Kiba frowned, "At any rate, it doesn't matter. We still need to get to them as soon as possible."

"You seem pretty dead set on this," Chelsea murmured, looking over at him mildly.

Kiba frowned at her, "What do you mean?"

"Well, it's just that you seem pretty obsessed with making sure that they're all ok… Any reason why?"

"They're my friends," Kiba replied hotly, "of COURSE I'm concerned about them. Kate and I have trained together. We fought the Sound Four together. I just want to see if she's alright."

"You like her, don't you?" Chelsea grinned suggestively.

Kiba blushed, "We're just friends!"

"You're friends with Naruto, but you haven't mentioned him ONCE!" Chelsea pointed out.

"Well," Kiba answered, his voice raising an octave higher and his face flushing an even brighter shade of red, "so what if I did? What about you? You seem pretty enthusiastic about this too!"

"Of course I do!" Chelsea winked, "Naruto owes me ramen! You don't think I'd let him weasel out of that one do you!?"

Kiba stared at her, "Naruto… owes you… ramen?"

"Yup," Chelsea beamed, "and I'm not letting he back out, no matter what!"

Kiba sighed, then smiled, "Somehow, I kind of feel sorry for the kid…"


	32. Chapter 32

Naruto for Dummies

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

**Chapter 32**

(A/N: Sorry for all the typos at the end of Chapter 31… --')

"Hinata…" Shino began, looking over at her.

"Hm?" she replied quietly, taking her eyes off of the forest.

"Have you found them with your byakugan yet?"

"Yes. There are two lying on the ground, with one kneeling over them, two fighting in a field, and one pursuing another in the woods."

Shino nodded, "That's what I'm getting from my bugs as well."

"How close are we?" Asuma asked.

Shino considered, "About 10 minutes, give or take."

"We're making good progress then," Sakura stated.

Shino looked back over at Hinata, "I'm sorry, Hinata."

Hinata glanced at him, "For… what?"

Shino turned his gaze back to the trees in front of him, "I know you would have rather gone to help Naruto."

Hinata averted her eyes as well, "It' alright. I'm sure he'll be ok."

Sakura looked down, embarrassed to be listening in to the conversation. She was also disappointed she couldn't go to help Naruto and Sasuke. Especially after seeing how badly Lee was injured. She didn't want to see that happen to any of her other friends. But, maybe it was a good thing she was going to assist Gaara's group. She had a few ideas about what she was going to do to the person that wounded Lee.

---

"Sou shuu jin!" Dee cried, sending a stream of blades flying at Sasori.

Sasori blocked, snickering slightly. He had already gone through his favorite puppet fighting her, but the tables were starting to turn, "You're starting to run out of chakra."

Dee panted, wiping a small trickle of blood from her mouth, eyes narrowed. She looked back at where Kankuro and Gaara sat, Shikamaru lying between them.

"Bastard!" she spat.

Sasori laughed, "You're wearing out, I can tell! This battle won't last much longer. But I'm impressed! I underestimated you from the beginning. Perhaps I'll pay you some respect when this is done. If you're lucky… I'll add you to my collection!"

"Shut up!" Dee hollered, but really, she thought he might have a point. Her energy really was running down, and as a puppet, she wasn't really sure how to kill him. Plus, his skill seemed to be on a whole other level. But it was HER fault Shikamaru had been stabbed by him. She had to make it up to Shika in some small way, and Sasori needed to pay for what he'd done.

Sasori grinned, "I told you I underestimated you originally, but it won't happen again! It's been fun, but I'm afraid all good things must come to an end. But you can be happy to know I'm definitely interested in converting you into part of my art. Aka Higi: Hyakki no Sōen!"

Sasori reached into his back, removing two summoning scrolls. Then, reaching into his right chest compartment, he pulled out a hundred chakra strings.

Dee's eyes widened, realizing where this was going.

"Dee! Run!" Kankuro shouted, getting up as he saw what Sasori was doing.

From the scroll, human puppet after human puppet was emerging, surrounding Dee from all sides.

"God fucking damn it!" Kankuro cursed, staring in shock.

Gaara looked on too, an unusual expression of surprise on his face. He glanced over at where Shikamaru was lying, then up at Kankuro. "Go…"

Kankuro turned back at him, "What!?"

"Go help her," Gaara said more clearly, "I'll watch him."

Kankuro and Gaara's eyes met for a moment, then he nodded, "Alright. Stay here. I know there's no way I can beat this guy, but don't interfere! When things start looking bad, take him and run! Don't look back!!!"

Gaara stared at him expressionlessly, then shook his head, "I'll go. But I expect you to follow me when you're finished."

Kankuro just looked at him in disbelief, then smiled, "I'll do my best…"

Dee collapsed, blood spilling from her right leg. There were too many enemies, and she'd used up too much power earlier on.

A puppet swung out a sword, aiming for her head. She threw up a chakra string, connecting it to the sword, and pulling it out of the way, then jumped up, moving out of the way of a kunai throw. She stumbled, tripping over a small rock behind her, and beginning to fall backwards again.

_**Thunk!**_ Kankuro appeared behind her, catching her effortlessly, "You're getting pretty good at those things!"

She looked up at him in surprise, "Huh?"

"Those chakra strings," Kankuro beamed down at her, "You're getting really good at fighting with them."

A puppet swung in on them, wielding a short spear. Kankuro quickly moved out of the way, pulling Dee with him.

"I know you wanted to take this guy down yourself," Kankuro continued, "but I hope you don't mind if I get in on the action a little myself. I hate to steal your thunder, but this guy was after my little brother, and I can't exactly let him get away with that."

Dee looked up at him in relief, then took a quick glance in Shikamaru and Gaara's direction. She began to feel tears welling up in her eyes as Kankuro pulled her out of the way of yet another attack, "I'm sorry…"

He glanced at her, releasing Karasu from his back, "For what?"

"For screwing up," she replied, "I keep getting people in trouble. It's my fault Shikamaru's practically DYING over there!!! I can't even finish off one enemy on my own…"

"I'd hardly call needing a little help to take on the world's greatest puppet master a short coming," Kankuro replied, "And anyways, Shikamaru chose to do what he did. It's what he WANTED to do! I need your help taking on this guy, but I want you to make sure you don't get killed yourself. I'm not sure I'm really a match for him, so if things look bleak, I want you to run, and go with Gaara and Shikamaru. Letting this guy kill you doesn't really seem like a good way of paying Shikamaru back, now does it?"

Dee sniffled slightly, "I'm not sure I could do that."

Kankuro slid behind another one of his puppets, Kuroari, to avoid further attack, "You have to, or Shikamaru will kill me when he gets better, and I don't want to have to be paranoid of my own shadow for the rest of my life!"

Dee couldn't help but smile a little, then pulled out a summoning scroll, releasing several shuriken that she caught up with her chakra strings, "Fine. Have it your way. Just make sure I don't ever have to do that."

---

Naruto blinked, looking over at Sasuke who was grabbing his arm.

"You fell into one of his genjutsu," Sasuke explained, furious eyes never leaving Itachi's face.

"Thanks," Naruto muttered, pulling his arm away.

"Naruto," Sasuke continued, "I don't think this is the real Itachi."

"What!?!?!?" Naruto exclaimed in surprise.

"His attacks don't seem to have enough power behind them, and he seems to be purposefully avoiding anything that requires a large amount of chakra."

Naruto stared at him, then turned back to Itachi, "But if he's not Itachi? Then who is he?"

Sasuke shook his head, "I don't know, but if he's just a substitute it changes our entire strategy. Naruto, if we can take him by surprise I think we can beat him, then we can go on and help Valerie and Kate. Just don't do anything… Stupid."

"Yeah! I know we can bring him down! Believe it!!!" Naruto shouted.

Sasuke twitched, then let out a sigh, "We're doomed…"


	33. Chapter 33

Naruto for Dummies

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

**Chapter 33**

(A/N: Here you go Kate! Hope you like it!!!)

"Ugh… What did I tell you…" Kate spluttered, attempting to throw herself against the bubble-like prison. It was starting to get kind of hard to breathe.

Valerie gasped for air, as a wall of water continued to push her downwards. She could barely see the surface of the lake anymore as she was shoved ever downwards.

Kisame grinned fiendishly, "Suiton: Goshokuzame!"

_Damn it…_Valerie thought, finally freeing herself from shot of water, and landing gracelessly on the lake bottom. She pushed off, attempting to swim back up to the top.

_**Shwish!**_ Valerie narrowly avoided being rammed by a shark that appeared to be made entirely of water.

_Oh, what now! _She thought in aggravation.

Kate choked, slowly running out of air. She just couldn't hold her breath much longer.

"Gatsūga!"

Kisame's clone was blasted back into a pool of water, releasing Kate from the water prison.

"Kiba!?" Kate stared.

The real Kisame suddenly dropped his sword as he was pulled underwater by a thick net of seaweed, that also trapped his five watery sharks.

"Magen: Jubaku Satsu!" Kurenai stated, destroying the five water sharks and causing the foliage to constrict tighter around Kisame.

Valerie resurfaced close by, gasping for air and pulling herself to her feet.

"You look like a drowned rat," Kiba informed Kate, smirking annoyingly. _ARF! ARF!_ Akamaru agreed.

Kate frowned, picking herself up and trying to wring some of the water out of her shirt. "Hmph…" she responded in exasperation, then coughed up some water.

Kiba's expression softened, "You okay?"

"Yeah," Kate replied simply, "I'm fine."

"I'm sorry…" Kiba began, "I didn't mean to make you mad or anything…"

"It's okay," Kate nodded, wringing out her hair, "apology accepted."

---

"Ōdama Rasengan!"

Itachi was blown away, a huge crater appearing in his place, as Naruto collapsed down, tired from the effort. Sasuke stared at him in shock, wondering where that kind of power could have come from.

"Well, it looks like we weren't particularly needed afterall," came a voice from behind the two.

Sasuke and Naruto turned around quickly, ready to defeat their new foe.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto said in surprise, then looked at the girl next to him, "Chelsea!!!"

Chelsea smiled, "That was AMAZING, Naruto!"

Naruto blushed, "Thanks… It was nothing."

Sasuke surveyed the crater where Itachi lay, "Just as I expected…"

Naruto turned back to look then jumped, "Who's THAT!?"

Sasuke shook his head, "Who knows?" What had once been Itachi now appeared to be only a dead corpse, dressed in an Akatsuki outfit.

Kakashi frowned, "Corpse substitution, then… I thought that might be the case…"

Chelsea looked at him, then back at Naruto, "Are you hurt?"

"Not really…" Naruto shook his head proudly.

"Kakashi…" Sasuke began.

Kakashi looked at him sternly, "Yes…?"

"Look," Sasuke continued, "I'm… Sorry I… I was stupid… I made a huge mistake, and a lot of people had to pay for it…"

Kakashi nodded knowingly, "It can happen to the best of us… But, if anything like this EVER happens again…"

"I understand," Sasuke sighed, "just…" He glanced at Naruto, "Excuse me for a moment… I have something I need to do…"

Naruto stared at him, "Huh?"

---

Kisame struggled, trying to untangle himself from the seaweed.

Valerie panted, falling back near Kate and Kiba.

"Hey! Long time no see!" Valerie smiled at him.

"Oh… Hi…" Kiba nodded.

"So, did I miss anything?" Valerie grinned suggestively.

Kate glanced at her in surprise, and Kiba blushed slightly, "Not really…"

Valerie looked disappointed, "Oh, come on! Just get on with it already!"

Kiba's blush broadened and he turned away, "I don't know what you're talking about…"

"Boys can be really stupid sometimes, huh?" Valerie whispered to Kate.

"You can say THAT again!" Kate murmured in reply.

Kisame finally called for his sword, swinging it down at the seaweed and breaking loose. Kurenai bobbed back up to the surface, squeezing water out of her hair.

Kurenai frowned, not sure of her next move.

"Heh," Kisame sneered, "It's the one move wonder… You can't expect to keep using that same technique on me again and again."

"She won't HAVE to," Sasuke smirked, practically materializing behind him, "Habataku Chidori!!!"

Kisame exploded back, never even getting a chance to counter attack.

The group stared at the smoldering corpse that had once been Kisame.

"What the hell is going on?" Valerie asked in confusion. That was certainly NOT Kisame.

"It's a corpse substitute," Kate explained, "that's why he was using such low level attacks, and why our own attacks were so effective on him."

"Wait, those were LOW level attacks!?" Valerie gaped.

"For someone as powerful as him or Itachi, yes," Sasuke replied.

Kurenai nodded, "The Akatsuki's as sneaky as ever."

"Wait," Kiba thought for a moment, "does that mean the Sasori and Deidara that Shikamaru, Dee, Kankuro, and Temari are fighting are ALSO substitutes?"

"Probably not," Kurenai shook her head, "I'm suspecting that the real target of this attack was only Gaara, not necessarily Naruto. Naruto hasn't accessed his fox chakra to it's full potential yet, so the Akatsuki probably wants to still give him some more time…"

"Gaara on the other hand," Kate agreed, "has full access to his demon chakra, so the Akatsuki would be more interested in him as of now."

Kiba smiled at her, impressed, "You figured that all out on your own?"

"More or less," Kate shrugged.

"But, wait!" Valerie said quickly, "That means they're all fighting REAL Akatsuki members! They don't stand a chance!!!"

"I'm afraid I rather agree," Kakashi nodded, landing on top of the water beside them.

"Even with Asuma, Sakura, Hinata, and Shino coming to back them up…" Chelsea said worriedly, "Do you think it will be enough?"

"I'm afraid I highly doubt it," Kakashi affirmed.

"Damn it," Naruto swore, "Why does all the bad stuff always have to happen to Gaara!?"

Kate frowned, worried about Dee, "Obviously, this attack was only distraction, meaning now that there's nothing left to threaten us, we should try to get back to them as soon as possible."

Valerie nodded in agreement, "I just hope they could hold out until now."

Sasuke looked away, "This is my fault, isn't it…"

"It's not!" Chelsea shook her head, "You were kidnapped! There's nothing you could have done about it!!!"

"Actually, it is kind of Sasuke's fault," Kate disagreed, "You weren't thinking about how the consequences your actions might have on others. You may have been kidnapped, but you certainly didn't try very hard to get away!"

Sasuke lowered his eyes some more.

"Kate's right…" Kiba spoke softly.

"But…" Valerie continued, "it's not too late to make it up. Come on, let's go!"


	34. Chapter 34

Naruto for Dummies

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

**Chapter 34**

(A/N: I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while… My only excuse is that I'm REALLY lazy… --)

Dee felt like she was going to puke. Her chakra levels were unimaginably low, she hadn't slept in almost 3 days straight, and she'd lost a lot of blood. Having exceptionally low blood pressure to begin with, this was not a good thing. She wobbled slightly, nearly falling as yet another one of the endless puppets aimed a club at her head.

"Hang in there," Kankuro urged, blocking the attack.

"I'm trying," Dee assured him, not sure how much longer she'd actually last, "I'm completely out of chakra though…"

Kankuro frowned. In all honesty, he was reaching his limit as well, and there were SO many puppets, they were hardly making any progress at all. _At this rate, _he thought to himself, _we're not going to be able to make it more than another two or three minutes… This is completely hopeless… Damn it!_

---

Temari sighed. Deidara seemed to have completely vanished, escaping without his arms, but alive nonetheless. _I should head back and see how the others are doing, _she thought to herself. She glanced up at the sky, _Funny. It feels like a thunderstorm's coming… But it was perfectly clear just a second ago…!?_

---

Kate frowned. She saw dark clouds coming in the distance; an ominous pop-up thunderstorm, appearing in the clear blue sky without any warning. _That doesn't seem quite natural, _she thought, staring at it, _and it's moving too rapidly to be an ordinary storm._

"HELLOOOOO!" Valerie said in annoyance, waving her hand in front of Kate's face, "Earth to Kate! And you say I'M the ditzy one…"

Kate blinked repeatedly, then glanced at her, "Sorry… It was just… That cloud over there doesn't seem quite normal…"

"Ugh… Cloud watching?" Kiba teased, "Pulling a Shikamaru on us, eh?"

Kate sighed, shrugging it off, "I'm serious. It definitely wasn't there just a moment ago and it's moving at ridiculous speeds toward the area where Dee and the others are fighting…"

"Well, then that's just all the more reason for us to try and get there as soon as possible," Chelsea stated, increasing her speed as much as possible, "Come on!"

---

Kankuro winced, his chakra strings starting to fade out, _Not good… Not good…_

"Hmph," Sasori sneered, "You've certainly made me wait long enough, but FINALLY it's time for you both to DIE."

Suddenly all the puppets turned at once, aiming one final attack at Kankuro and Dee.

"Shit," Kankuro spat, "Dee, get out of here!"

"I would if I could," she replied simply, "but we're surrounded, and I just don't have the energy."

Gaara attempted to get up, but fell back down, helpless to stop Sasori from killing his companion and brother.

Dee closed her eyes, waiting for imminent doom… But it didn't happen.

"What the-" Sasori began, staring in shock.

Dee opened one eye, to find all of Sasori's puppets infested with insects!

"Really… 100 against 2 hardly seems fair," Shino sighed, "I hope you don't mind if we intrude."

"You little shit!" Sasori spat.

Hinata jumped down behind him, Sasori whipping around to meet her. She recoiled, looking abashed before muttering softly, "Shugohakke Rokujūyon Shō." She began to lash out, smashing Sasori backwards and taking many puppets with her.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!" he screamed.

"Incredible," Kankuro breathed, staring in awe.

"Kankuro! Gaara! Dee!" Temari called, racing out from the woods. Sakura and Asuma had already gone over to Shikamaru and Gaara and were surveying the damage.

"Temari!" Kankuro called in relief, falling backwards onto his butt.

Dee, however, was not ready to rest just yet. In an instant she was by Sakura's side, looking down at Shikamaru.

"Can you heal him?" she asked tentatively.

Sakura frowned, "This is the same kind of poison that we found in Lee, but the wound is a lot deeper, so it's spreading much faster."

"Do you have an antidote?" Temari asked, also walking over and sandwiching herself between Sakura and Asuma.

"Unfortunately, no," Sakura shook her head, "We sent Lee back with Gai-sensei for Tsunade to try and heal him…"

"If we took him back now," Asuma asked her, "Would he make it?"

"I'm not sure…" Sakura looked frustrated, "it's about a day and a half's run back, and moving him would just make the poison spread even faster than it already is."

Dee looked down, biting her lip.

"DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Kate shouted, jumping out of the woods and into the clearing.

"Huh… Kate? Valerie? Chelsea?" Dee turned to look at them.

"You MADE it!" Chelsea hollered in relief.

"Dee!" Valerie exclaimed, racing towards her, "You're ok!!!"

"Yeah… **I** am…" she said softly before getting tackled by a group of overly excited high school girls.

"Hey, stop that…" Kakashi frowned, "none of you are in any shape to be doing that right now…"

Kurenai glanced over at the remains of what used to be Sasori and his army of puppets. Hinata panted heavily before falling to her knees in exhaustion.

"Good work, Hinata!" Kurenai declared, impressed.

"It really wasn't entirely me…" Hinata shook her head, "I couldn't have done that if Shino hadn't weakened the puppets joints with his bugs… and if Kankuro and Dee hadn't run him low on chakra… I just finished him off, really…"

"Woah! YOU killed that guy!" Naruto stared.

"Um… I..." Hinata flustered.

"That's SO cool!" Naruto beamed, "You're way tougher than I thought! I always figured you were kind of a loser when it came to fighting…"

Chelsea and Sasuke both shot him evil glances. "What!? Did I say something wrong???" Naruto sweat dropped.

"Oh…" Hinata looked away, "Thank you… Naruto…"

"Um…" Kate glowered, "Hate to interrupt but we have a bunch of dying people here and a supernaturally huge thunderstorm coming our way… Could we TRY and hurry it up please!?"

"Oh, right," Sakura nodded, then looked back at Shikamaru, "Well… Actually I had a thought about how we could maybe extract the poison…"

"Really???" Kankuro asked, finally coming over, "What is it?"

Sakura frowned, "It's not really in keeping with normal medical ninja practices, but I thought, instead of administering an antidote, since we don't seem to have any… Why don't we literally pull the poison out!?"

"You can do that!?!?!?" Temari asked, skeptically.

"Well, sort of…" Sakura said gloomily, "I would need some sort of chakra medium to fix it to… And I don't really have anything… In the meantime… Chelsea…"

"Hmm?"

"Why don't you start taking care of everyone else's wounds while I try to figure something out. Also, Shino, Hinata, Temari, Kiba, Akamaru, Kate…"

"Huh?"

"Woof!?"

"Why don't you all go out in search of some nearby place we can take shelter… I don't think we're going to be able to outlast this storm…

"Right," Kiba agreed, "Shino, Hinata… You two head southwest… Kate and I will search up in the northeast. If you find anything, Shino, send some of your bugs to deliver the message. We'll take one with us too, and send it back to you if we find anything…"

"Alright," Shino nodded, "Hinata, let's go."

"Okay…"

Temari sighed sitting down next to Gaara and Kankuro. Valerie plopped down in between Naruto and Sasuke, thankful the fighting was finally over.

"Who should I heal first?" Chelsea asked, looking around.

"How about Valerie?" Sasuke suggested, "She got hurt pretty badly by Kisame's sharks…"

Temari frowned, "Gaara and Kankuro are in worse shape…"

"No, it's fine," Kankuro nodded, "you should take care of her first."

"Agreed," Gaara added.

"But Temari's right!" Valerie argued, "I only have a small injury in comparison."

"Quit arguing," Kurenai frowned, "just start healing SOMEONE so we can get this over with faster."

Chelsea nodded, "Alright, I'm going to heal you first then, Valerie." She sat down on the other side of Naruto, reaching across him so she could take care of Valerie's arm. Naruto blushed slightly, then smiled at her, and she smiled back.

"You're buying me ramen when we get back," she whispered into his ear.

He turned even brighter red, then whispered back, "Of course I am! You don't think I'd forget, do you?"

She smiled, satisfied.

Meanwhile, Sakura was still puzzling over how she could deal with Shikamaru's poison. Asuma stood nearby, smoking at a faster rate than usual out of worry.

"I'm sure he'll make it," Kurenai murmured to him.

"I hope you're right," Asuma replied.

"I need a thin chakra medium…" Sakura considered, squeezing her eyes shut.

_**BING!!!**_ A light bulb went off in Dee's tired brain. "Duh!" she exclaimed, smacking herself on the head, "My chakra strings! That would be perfect, wouldn't it???"

Sakura stared at her, "Are you sure you can make one, in that condition."

Dee turned to look back at Shikamaru, then shut her eyes in determination, "I will… No matter what the cost."

"You have to be able to keep it precise," Chelsea called back to her, "Move it ever so slightly in the wrong direction, or alter the flow of chakra even the most minute amount, and you could kill him…"

"If I don't do something, he'll die anyways, right…?" Dee asked.

Sakura sighed, "That's a strong possibility. With this storm, and the way the poison is spreading, I doubt he'll make it to the end of the day…"

"Alright, then," Dee bit down on her lip, "Let's do this…"


	35. Chapter 35

Naruto for Dummies

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

**Chapter 35**

(A/N: Sorry again for taking FOREVER to update… I was in family hell…)

Shino looked ahead at the thunderstorm quickly making it's way towards them. "We only have about ten minutes, max…"

Hinata nodded, searching for caves or empty houses using her Byakugan.

"Hinata…" Shino began again.

"Hmm?" Hinata asked.

"Hinata, we really need to talk," Shino stated plainly.

"Huh?"

"About Naruto… And Chelsea…"

Hinata dropped her Byakugan and stared at him, "Shino…?"

"I know you've had a crush on Naruto for a long time," Shino sighed, "but…"

Hinata averted her gaze, looking forlorn.

"Hinata," Shino continued, "you push yourself all the time, trying to prove yourself to your family, your friends, and him most of all… You deserve the recognition you've been working so hard for… But… Chelsea…"

"They really like each other don't they…?" Hinata said softly.

"Yes…" Shino replied.

There was a pause, then Hinata continued, "As long as Naruto's happy… I think… I think I can try and be happy too…"

"So," Shino looked at her quickly, "you're ok with them?"

Hinata forced a weak smile, "She'll treat him right, and I'm not his type anyways… I understand… It's… It's alright…"

Shino frowned at her, "I don't believe you can get over someone just like that… But… You're right… Something like this was likely to happen eventually… Don't you want to fight for him though?"

"No," Hinata shrugged, "they really do deserve each other…"

Shino looked at her, "Hinata… Stop doing that."

"Doing what?"

"Stop putting everyone else's happiness before your own!" Shino said a little angrily.

"I don't-"

"Yes, you do!" Shino continued, "Do you not value yourself at all!? Hinata, you are an amazing person. Even if you don't think highly of yourself, you have friends who do! You've done incredibly well up till now, and I think you need to realize that. Everyday I see you becoming more powerful, more confident. Why can't you see that?"

"Shino…" Hinata said, blushing deeply, "I… I-"

_**BOOM!**_ A jolt of thunder caused both of them to nearly fall over.

Flustered, Shino frowned, pushing his face further down beneath his collar, "Come on. We need to find some shelter fast…"

"Oh… Ok…" Hinata stated, but watched him as he turned away. _He really… cares about me, _she thought to herself. _He really does._

---

Shikamaru slowly began to regain consciousness. Everything was black and he had trouble making out what people were saying.

"…awake…?" he heard Temari say, sounding worried.

"…should rest…" he thought he heard Sakura say. _Where had SHE come from?_

"…should too…" stated Gaara flatly. _So they must have won, right?_

"I'm ok, "I'm trained..." Sakura continued, "…all out of chakra." _Where's Dee??? _Shikamaru began to worry.

"I'll rest when he wakes up," he heard Dee say obstinately, but with very little strength left in her voice. _She's alright! _he thought in relief, feeling his heart beat settle down slightly.

"He'll be fine," Val said, sounding a little worried, "but you look pale. You should seriously lie down."

"…Dee…?" Shikamaru said softly, slowly opening his eyes. Everything was blurry.

"Shikamaru!!!!!!!!" Dee cried out, digging her nails into her fists in order to restrain herself from glomping him. She felt tears begin to collect around her eyes.

His vision slowly started to clear and he looked around him. Sakura was nearby looking a little tired. All three sand siblings were on the other side of him. Temari looked concerned, Gaara blank as always, and Kankuro relieved, worried, and annoyed all at the same time. Further that way he saw Chelsea, Naruto, Sasuke, and Valerie sitting together. And directly next to him was Dee. Her eyes were teary and had slight bags under them, and her face looked sweaty and pale. She had a lot of injuries on her, but she was alive at the very least.

"Diedara…? Sasori…?" Shikamaru began.

"They've both been taken care of," Temari answered.

"Sakura… did you heal me?" Shikamaru asked.

"With some help from Dee," Sakura winked, "she did most of the work in bringing down Sasori, too…"

"He looked at her, "You…"

"I'm SO sorry," Dee finally said, not able to hold back the tears anymore, "This was ALL my fault… I… You… I'm SO sorry!!!"

Temari stared at her for a moment, then looked at her feet. _Poor girl... _she thought.

He looked at her as she cried, then slowly pushed himself into an upright position, wincing slightly as he did so.

"You shouldn't…!" Chelsea began, looking worriedly at him, but he ignored her. Taking his arm he pulled Dee close to him; she looked up at him in surprise.

A boom of thunder muffled his voice as he whispered something in her ear. Her eyes went wide, and a mischievous smile played across Shikamaru's lips. He let go of her and she looked up at him, smiled too, and wiped away her tears.

Kankuro frowned, then pulled himself up, going over beside her, "You really should rest now."

She glanced up at him and nodded, "Alright… Thanks…" He helped her up, then set her down beside Chelsea. Shikamaru watched her go, still smirking, then layed back down.

"He… They're meant for each other, aren't they?" Temari sighed, looking at Gaara.

"Mm-hmm…" he replied, sounding bored.

"What… What did he say?" Chelsea whispered to Dee in curiosity.

Dee smiled slightly, closing her eyes and mumbled, "'Don't apologize, troublesome girl... I hate to see the girl I love with tears on her face.'"

Chelsea stared at her in surprise, then smiled.

---

_**BOOM!!!**_ Kiba frowned, the storm would be on top of them in only a matter of a few minutes. "It's useless… We'll never find any shelter in time…"

Kate stopped, looking annoyed, "We might as well go back. It'd be better to tough it out together, and maybe Shino or Hinata will have found something…"

"I guess you're right," Kiba sighed, "We won't see anything in the next couple of minutes anyways…"

Kate nodded and was about to turn around when she felt a drop of rain land on her arm, "Damn… I'd hoped it would wait just a little more…"

It began to pour as the two made their way back toward the others. Kate shivered unconsciously, then felt annoyed with herself for doing so.

"Cold?" Kiba asked, dropping in beside her.

"I'm fine," she replied quickly, sliding on a slippery branch.

Kiba caught her arm, keeping her from falling, and looking at her in exasperation, "It won't do either of us any good if you get sick or hurt…" He pulled off his jacket, handing it to her.

"Won't you need this?" she asked, looking at him in surprise.

"I'll be ok," Kiba sighed, "I'm used to roughing it." Akamaru barked at her in assurance.

She continued to look at him, without taking it, so he rolled his eyes and pushed it over her anyways.

"Kiba-" she began in annoyance, blushing slightly, as he pulled her from her kneeling position.

"Do you always have to argue," he said in fake aggravation, blushing also. He began to jump from branch to branch, still holding her hand and pulling her along.

"Why are you…?" Kate started.

"I don't want you slipping and falling," Kiba said, not looking at her. Akamaru growled indignantly.

"Kiba… You're a terrible liar," Kate said, her face more flushed but her eyes filled with decision.

He stopped, looking at her, "I-"

"Oh, just give it up already!" Kate said in irritation, "I know you-" She stopped in shock as he leaned in and kissed her on the cheek.

"Wha-" she stared at him.

"You're right," Kiba said, turning a million shades of red, but with a twinkle in his eyes, "I AM a terrible liar. Now let's get out of here before we get struck by lightning or something." And he started up again, Akamaru looking pleased with himself, and Kate being towed along looking surprised, confused, and most of all happy. She hardly even noticed the storm at all.


	36. Chapter 36

Naruto for Dummies

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

**Chapter 36**

Kiba and Kate reached the others just as the storm seemed to be at it's peek. Most of the group was huddled together, trying to escape from the rain. Naruto was sharing his coat with Chelsea, Valerie and Sasuke were huddled together, Hinata and Shino, who had arrived back first, as well as Sakura had also huddled together underneath a tree, and Temari, Kankuro, Gaara, Dee, and Shikamaru were all taking refuge under Temari's fan. Kurenai and Asuma had also huddled together further away, and Kakashi was sitting off by himself not far from them.

"Hey guys, any luck finding anything?" Kiba called, releasing Kate's hand.

Kankuro turned to look at them, frowning slightly and looking a little dejected.

"N- No…" Hinata said softly, looking a little sad.

"I'm going to assume you didn't either," Shino said simply.

"Nah…" Kiba sighed, "It started raining too, so we decided to turn back.

"This storm was pretty fast moving, so hopefully it will move away from us quickly," Sakura pointed.

"Actually," Temari said, "If we started heading back towards Konoha now I think we could get out of the storm even faster."

"Good point," Sasuke agreed.

"But… What about all the injured people?" Kate pointed out.

"Almost everyone's been healed, at least somewhat, by now," Naruto stated quickly.

Kate thought for a moment. This storm actually reminded her a lot of the one that had gotten them into this mess in the first place. She wondered if there was some connection between this storm and the one back at home.

"Actually, I don't think the 'going to Konoha plan' is going to work," Chelsea said simply.

"Huh, why not?" Valerie asked.

"It's stopped moving," Dee spoke up, "and the clouds have spread out to the horizon… This isn't some small shower we can just wait out…"

_**BOOM! **_A shock of thunder crashed only a few acres from where the group was sitting.

"We can't just stay out here like this," Kurenai finally said, "It's dangerous."

"Also," Kakashi continued, "the village is going to start wondering about us. We should try and return."

"Even healed," Asuma sighed, "I'm worried about some of the students. Especially Shikamaru, Kankuro, Dee, and Gaara."

"Maybe some of us should head back, to let them know what's happened and where the others are," Sakura said, "while those of us unfit to go back at the moment stay behind."

"But… We can't just leave people unprotected!" Valerie exclaimed.

"And in this storm…" Chelsea looked worried, "something really bad could happen to them!"

"I agree," Kate shook her head, "I'm not leaving anyone."

Kakashi nodded, "I agree with everyone. Shikamaru, Kankuro, Gaara, and Dee shouldn't try traveling in their present state… But we also need to send word back to Konoha. I and the other teachers will go. I would also like to ask Hinata, Shino, and Sakura to come along. Sakura's medical skills will be highly needed and they may also be in need of some trackers… Kiba, I want you to stay behind in case they need to try finding shelter again. Sasuke, I would give it a little more time before you went back. And Naruto, Valerie, and Kate, I'll put you three in charge of protection. Chelsea, I want you to tend to anyone's injuries. Everyone ok with that?"

Nobody said anything and he nodded, "Ok… Good… Guys, let's go."

---

It had been about half an hour since part of the group had left and the storm didn't seem to be lightening up any. Akamaru whined as everyone crowded more tightly together, shivering slightly. A bolt of lightning hit the ground less than a hundred yards away, making everyone jump.

"This is ridiculous," Sasuke sighed.

"Can't you do anything?" Kankuro asked Temari.

"I can make winds with my fan," Temari shook her head, "I don't have power over pop-up thunderstorms, and a cloud like that is too large and high up for me to effect."

Another lightning bolt struck too close for comfort. Akamaru growled, snuggling in between Kate and Kiba.

"Maybe we shouldn't be sitting under a tree," Dee pointed out nervously.

"It's the only sheltered place that will fit all of us," Kate sighed, but feeling apprehensive as well.

"And besides," Valerie said, trying to be cheerful, "what are the odds of us getting hit by lightning anyways?"

"Shh…" Chelsea said quickly, "You'll jinx us!"

There was a long pause as everyone waited for the inevitable. After several minutes, nothing had happened yet.

"Phew," Naruto sighed in relief, "I was sure we were going to get-"

_**CRASH!!!**_ A powerful jolt of lightning hit the tree, shocking everyone beneath it. For the second time everything seemed to go white as sounds faded out, replaced by a strange beeping and the smell of antiseptic.

---

"Hey! You're awake!" a familiar voice exclaimed.

"Un…" Kate murmured, opening her eyes to find a dirty-blonde haired, pimply teenage boy staring down at her.

"WAAAH!" Kate shrieked, "What are YOU doing here!?"

Schnulo smirked, "You've been out for a while… Apparently you all were struck by lightning or something. You're mom called us, so we came to visit."

"Us?" Kate questioned.

"Well…" Schnulo sighed, "Me and some of the other bandies…"

Kate sighed, understanding, "How long have I been out…? And who else got struck!?"

"It was you, Dee, Val, and some other girl I don't know," Schnulo said, "I think her name's Chelsea… Anyways, you've only been out for about a day and a half, so not too bad really."

Kate nodded. That was a long time, but not as long as she had feared.

"Thanks for coming to visit me," she said, smiling meekly, then turning to look at her night stand. There were two banquettes on it, one made up of blue morning glories, and one of irises.

"Is one of them from you?" Kate asked, looking at him in surprise.

"Nah," Schnulo rolled his eyes, "that one," he pointed to the morning glories, "is from Kiba, and that one," he pointed to the irises, "is from Kankuro…"

"Wait…" Kate stared at him with wide eyes, "WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"

"Uh-oh," Schnulo looked at her in slight concern, "did you hit your head or something? Those two are like, your best friends!"

She stared at him even more, "They… they are!?"

"Yeah," said Schnulo looking even more worried, "I mean… Come on… They're in BAND for crying out loud! Actually, they're both here right now too… I should probably go tell them your ok… At least sort of…" He left the room.

Kate stared down at her hands thinking. She remembered three things and none of them seemed to make sense when put with the others. She remembered her strange adventures in the Naruto world, she remembered her life up until being struck, and she remembered another life that lead up to those events. This life was like her normal one, but the Naruto characters were her friends. She remembered going to homecoming with Kiba, going to see Pirates of the Caribbean 3 with Valerie, and Valerie's boyfriend, Sasuke, doing drumline with Kankuro, and walking down to Quiznos nearly everyday with him and Dee. She remembered teasing Chelsea and Naruto when they held hands in the hallway, and sitting on the band bus with Temari. She remembered eating lunch with Gaara and trying to get Shikamaru and Dee to admit they liked each other. These memories were all so vivid and clear, and yet they seemed like somebody else's. Like they weren't real.

"Kate! You're awake!!!" Kiba said excitedly, sitting down on her bed.

"You're the first to wake up," Kankuro added, looking relieved as he walked into the room.

"Kiba… Kankuro?" Kate asked in wonder.

"We've been here since we got the call," Kiba said, "We picked up some flowers on the way over, too…"

"Did you… Aren't you…" Kate began, "Do you have any memories of being ninja???"

Kiba and Kankuro looked at each other, then Kankuro turned around and shut the door.

"Kate…" Kiba began.

"Something weird happened…" Kankuro explained.

"We… After getting struck by that lightning bolt," Kiba continued.

"We woke up in some weird houses with extra sets of memories," Kankuro completed.

"Then our phones rang," Kiba added.

"And we got calls from your mom about you all being in the hospital," Kankuro finished.

"How many of you guys ended up here?" Kate asked, in awe.

"Everyone who was under the tree," Kankuro answered.

"In this world we have family lives similar to the ones in the show too," Kiba said, "Except, at least for me, my mom and sister don't remember being ninja. They think Naruto's just a show and they don't know that they're actually in it."

"Aren't they?" Kate wondered.

"We are," Kankuro agreed, "but it's just like you guys were describing it to be."

"We think what happened only affected the story that was on your computer," Shikamaru said, walking into the room and closing the door again behind him, "which is fried by the way…"

"Were you listening?" Kiba asked.

"Couldn't help it," Shikamaru sighed, "And anyways, I just got done visiting Dee…"

"Is she awake!?" Kankuro asked.

"Yeah," Shikamaru sighed, "she just woke up a few minutes ago… She kind of started freaking out when she realized she was in a hospital though. Temari went to find all of your parents and Gaara's seeing if he can get the doctors to at least let her leave now that she's awake…"

Kate sighed, aware of Dee's phobia of hospitals, "How are Valerie and Chelsea?"

"They're stable," Shikamaru confirmed, "but both still asleep. Naruto and Sasuke are staying with them…"

"So," Kate wondered, "you're telling me what happened back there… Wasn't a dream, right?"

"Since we all had it, I highly doubt it," Kankuro stated mildly.

"But… How did you guys get here then?" Kate pondered, "And why do we all have memories of you being here forever? Why do you have families here?"

"No idea," Shikamaru shrugged, "now if you'll all excuse me, I'm going to go see if Dee's calm enough for me to explain this to her..." He looked worried for a moment, then sighed, "Troublesome girl…"

Kankuro followed him out, leaving Kiba and Kate alone together. There was a moment of awkwardness before Kate spoke.

Sitting up in bed she looked him in the eye, "Kiba, I need to tell you something really important."

"What?" he asked, leaning towards her.

Kate leaned forward slightly kissing him on the lips. His eyes went wide in surprise, and then he began to kiss back. After a while he finally pulled away, blushing madly, and asked, "What was that for?"

"Pay back for earlier," Kate smirked.

Kiba stared at her for a while, then smiled too, "A bit overkill if you ask me…"

"Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate!" Hannah, Kate's little sister, shouted, running into her room and making Kiba get up quickly and move back a little.

Hannah eyed him for a moment, suspiciously, then turned towards her sister, "You're awake!"

"With you around it's a wonder I didn't wake up earlier…" Kate muttered, then sighed, forcing a smile. Everything was back to normal, but this new normalness seemed much improved in HER opinion.

(A/N: Only one more chapter to go till the end of the series! Thanks for reading, and I hope you liked it!!!)


	37. Chapter 37 Epilogue

Naruto for Dummies

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto... I DO, however, own this fanfic.

**Chapter 37 - Epilogue**

_Six Months Later…_

Valerie sat on her sofa in her basement, clinging to her gamecube controller.

"Byah!" she said excitedly as one virtual Sasuke sent another virtual Sasuke flying.

"Shit, you got me," the real Sasuke sighed beside her, "How do you keep doing that?"

Valerie shrugged, "I've got skills."

Sasuke nodded, "That you do," then leaned over and kissed her.

"Valerie," Sean, Valerie's older brother said, walking downstairs, "phone…"

He watched as the two pulled away from each other quickly, Valerie blushing as she got up saying, "Kay… Coming…"

He rolled his eyes, "Could you guys get a room or something?"

"We had one, till you barged in," Valerie glared at him.

He shrugged handing her the phone as she stuck her tongue out at him, picking up, "Hello?"

"Hey Val, we're going out for lunch and wanted to know if you'd like to come along," Kate said on the other end.

"Where are you going?" Valerie asked, watching her brother walk away.

"Some Chinese place… It's over by that 'Anime Palace' store that Dee keeps trying to get us to go to."

"Okay… Hang on," Valerie said, pulling the phone away. "Sasuke, Kate wants to know if we'd like to go with her and the others for lunch."

Sasuke glanced up, and Valerie glared at him, "Hey! No beating me up while I'm not there!" She heard Kate, and what sounded like Kiba, snicker over the phone.

"Who all's coming?" Sasuke asked as he ignored her directions and continued to beat her powerless character into the ground.

Valerie sighed, "Hey Kate-"

"The whole group," Kate replied in a bored tone.

Valerie nodded, "Pretty much everyone," she said turning back to Sasuke.

He sighed, finishing pulverizing virtual Sasuke then got up, turning the game off, "Ok… I'm kind of hungry anyways I guess… Let's go." As he walked past her, up the stairs, he gently kissed her on the cheek, jumping a step as she glowered at him playfully and attempted to smack him.

---

"God, do you two EVER stop eating," Kankuro asked, sweat dropping, as Naruto and Chelsea shared their fourth bowl of ramen.

"Only when I run out of money," Naruto replied, grinning broadly.

Schnulo glanced at the food in front of him, "What IS this stuff?"

Temari rolled her eyes at him, pointing to all the various foods and explaining what they were. He sighed looking at them and said, "Never really liked foreign foods, to be quite honest."

"Just get an egg roll or something," Gaara said, glancing at him. He was sitting next to another girl, a mutual band friend named Ann, who was slurping away at some wonton soup.

Schnulo picked up an egg roll, slicing it open with his fork and observing the contents, "Uh… I think I'll pass…"

Nana, another mutual friend of Kate, Chelsea, and Dee's at least, was sitting next to Kankuro, trying to figure out how to work the chop sticks.

Kate held back a laugh, watching her clueless friends, as she popped some sweet and sour chicken into her mouth.

"We going shopping after this?" Dee asked, looking bored. Most of the food had meat in it and Dee was a vegetarian so she wasn't eating very much.

Kate nodded, "Yeah… Probably…"

"We should just hang out for the rest of the day," Kiba said, "since no ones doing anything anyways… It's almost the end of summer break, and then we all have to go back to school…"

"Waah!" Chelsea shrieked, knocking a glass from the table with her elbow.

Two chakra strings shot out, catching it from both sides and pulling it back up before it could hit the floor. Dee and Kankuro smirked at each other from both sides of the table. Ann, Schnulo, and Nana looked rather surprised, but ever since the lightning incident they had been getting more used to this.

"I wonder if 'Anime Palace' is open for once?" Temari wondered, breaking the awkward silence.

"It is," Dee said confidently.

"How do you know?" Gaara wondered aloud.

Dee grinned, reaching into her purse and pulling out a plushie that appeared to be Shikamaru in a deer suit. She beamed, "Already been there."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes, pulling the doll out of her hands and shoving it back into her purse, "I told you you shouldn't have bought that."

"But it's so CUTE!" Dee countered, glaring at him.

"It's troublesome…" Shikamaru replied.

"YOU'RE troublesome!" Dee said hotly, glowering, "and it really is cute!"

"Not as cute as you," Shikamaru said planting a kiss on her cheek.

She blushed slightly as everyone else at the table giggled or whistled, then said quickly, "Everyone ready to go?"

"Yup," Kiba sighed, "let's roll…"

The group got up after paying their bill, heading across the street together. Nana was telling Kankuro some weird story, Ann and Gaara were walking awkwardly side by side, Naruto and Chelsea were holding hands, looking completely adorable, Sasuke had his hand around Valerie's waist, and Temari and Schnulo were arguing about something.

"It's kind of nice," Kate said, walking behind the group with Kiba, Shikamaru, and Dee.

"What is?" Kiba asked, confused.

"Everything actually worked out," Kate nodded, "it's almost too good to be true."

"I'm sure something will go wrong eventually," Dee sighed, pessimistically.

"There's still some details about how this all happened I'd like to work out," Shikamaru added.

Kate watched as Naruto and Chelsea as well as Valerie and Sasuke kissed each other, not thinking anyone was looking. She glanced away, watching a bird fly past than said, "I don't think I like this ending."

"Huh?" Dee questioned.

"It's too anticlimactic, not to mention cheesy."

"But I'm the cheese-meister so it seems fairly fitting," Dee shrugged.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes at her, and she shoved him playfully.

"I've been having weird dreams lately," Kate continued.

"About what?" Kiba asked, surprised.

"The Akatsuki… I keep dreaming about running down the hallway at school and running into them. Itachi in particular…"

Shikamaru frowned at her, "I doubt that means anything at all."

"I wouldn't be so sure," Dee disagreed, "I've been having the same dream…"

"But we're the only ones who made it back here," Kiba said quickly, "I mean… We were the only people around during the lightning strike… And anyways, Kate's computer is fried… They can't be here…"

A strange look crossed over Dee's face, "Maybe… But I've been thinking a lot lately… What happened to all of us… That was an alternated dimension… And I think this is too…"

"What do you mean?" Shikamaru asked.

"I think we've been messing with the multiverse," Dee sighed, "and nothing good could ever come from that…"

Kiba raised his eyebrow and Kate sighed, "You nerd…"

"Maybe," Dee shrugged, "but tearing a whole between dimensions doesn't sound good to me…"

"That sounds like something you got off of the Sci-Fi channel," Shikamaru told her.

"YOU'RE the one who's been watching that since we got back, not ME!" Dee replied, "And I actually got that out of a book I'd been reading on Chaos Theory."

"As I said," Kate rolled her eyes, "you NERD…"

"At any rate," Kiba said, "it's not something I think we need to worry about for the moment…"

"I guess you're right…" Dee said, sighing as everyone sped up to catch up with the others. She watched as they walked on ahead, laughing and talking and thought to herself, _All good things must come to an end…_

(A/N: Well that's it for 'Naruto for Dummies' I hope you enjoyed it! If you want to read some other misadventures involving some similar characters, check out my friend KShires09's story "**Ditzy, Dorky, and Downright Delusional."** Thanks again for reading, and hopefully I'll be making some other stories soon… Ciao!)


End file.
